Second Chances
by 123ficwriter321
Summary: What if Juliet had gone to the Amalfi Coast with Declan and come back engaged? Six years later, Juliet and Shawn reconnect and find their lives far different than they had wanted or expected. But will they get their Second Chance?
1. The Funeral

He couldn't believe he was going to a funeral. He hated funerals. But as Shawn walked in to the funeral home, he knew he couldn't be anywhere else.

"Daddy? Why are all these people here?" His daughter squeezed his hand tight and he squeezed it back, their secret language of "I love you's".

"To say goodbye, Baby." He looked at his sweet baby girl as she tried to understand what he meant. She was five now, and he couldn't believe how much she'd turned his life upside down over those five years. As much as it hurt, as much as it wasn't easy, he wouldn't have it any other way. And he had no idea what he would do without her.

"Can I go talk to that little girl? She looks sad." He nodded without looking at who his daughter pointed to.

* * *

Where was Rebecca? Juliet scanned the room full of sorrowful people in black for her baby and finally spotted her hugging another little girl. She was so strong, so amazing through all of this. Rebecca was the only reason she was hanging on, the only reason she'd held on the past five years. But who was that other girl? The line of mourners kept her from investigating further, but something seemed familiar. Rich brown hair with just the slightest wave. She was turning now, facing her and the little strangers eyes were—no—it couldn't be.

"Thank you." She said to the woman expressing her sympathies. "If you'll excuse me for a second, I have to check on my daughter." She didn't even wait for a reply, she just pushed toward the center of the room.

* * *

He hadn't seen Juliet in six years. When she went on vacation with Declan and came back engaged, he resigned from Psych, and married Abigail three months later. He hadn't been mad at Juliet, though looking back it may have appeared that way, he just couldn't be around her and know there was no future with her anymore. He hadn't seen or talked to Juliet in six years and now he was at her husband's funeral.

"This was a mistake." He mumbled. He needed to leave. He scanned the room for his little girl and gasped when he saw the golden plait of the girl she was hugging. As they separated and he saw her dazzling blue eyes, Shawn felt his heart drop out of his chest. That could only be Juliet's daughter.

* * *

It couldn't be. It couldn't actually be Shawn's daughter. Shawn, with a daughter. But those eyes, those eyes could only be from him. She had almost reached the girls now, it was a slow process pushing through the mourners. When she finally got close, she was so focused on the girls that she hadn't even noticed the man who was approaching on the other side.

"Jules." He said and her stomach filled with butterflies she'd thought were long dead.

"Shawn." It had been a long time since she'd said his name aloud, but the name felt good on her lips. She looked at him. He hadn't changed much physically, but there was something different about him. The laughter and joy with life had dimmed in his eyes.

"Daddy, this is Rebecca, her daddy just died but I said if we became friends she could borrow you sometimes. Is that okay?" Shawn's whole expression softened as he ran his hand down his daughter's hair. So it was true, Shawn was a dad.

"That's very sweet of you, Rachel, but I don't think Rebecca—"

"I don't want a daddy." Rebecca said and Juliet's heart dropped. "Daddies are mean."

No, she couldn't let their secret out. Not here. Not now. "Sweetie, you don't mean that." She knew it was a lie, her daughter did mean it and she couldn't blame her. Experience had taught her that was true. But no one knew Declan like they did. They didn't see how angry he got when he was drunk. They didn't know that when an investment fell through and he lost all the money, he'd filled the hole with whiskey. Everyone thought it was a tragic accident, but she knew the truth. She was just glad no one else was hurt by his drunk driving. "It's just the shock." She said to Shawn, but she couldn't look at him for she was sure he'd see through her lie.

* * *

Why wasn't she looking at him? What was she trying to hide? "I understand." He reached for her hand, barely hesitating as he got close, but she let him take it. "Jules, I'm…I'm so sorry about Declan." His hand had that familiar tingling sensation that he hadn't felt in years—that he'd only ever felt with her.

"Thanks." She looked at him and he realized her eyes were grayer, less bright than he had remembered them. He didn't know what to say. All he knew is that he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her. Instead, he let their hands break apart.

Fortunately, Rachel—ever sensitive to her surroundings—saved him from himself. "I like your braid Rebecca. It's really pretty." Her sweet little voice said.

"Thanks, my mommy did it for me. Sometimes it hurts because she pulls hard, but not today." The child was like a miniature of Juliet, and just like her mother, she captured his heart.

"Oh, my daddy doesn't know how to make braids." There it was, the melancholy tone that broke his heart from the one person who held it together.

"Did your mommy die too?"

Now it was his turn to drop his gaze, unable to face Juliet. He felt Rachel's hand sneak into his and was steeled by her love. She answered her newfound friend. "No, she left when I was a baby. I never knew her." He looked at his baby girl. She had his eyes, hair, and smile—but her nose and ears were her Abigail's, as was her deep desire to help people. But fortunately she lacked the fear and flightiness that plagued both her parents.

"Oh." Little Rebecca said as she reached for her mother's hand. "Well my mommy is really nice. I bet she would braid your hair."

"Really?" Rachel asked, eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Anytime." Juliet said before looking at him for approval. He nodded and squeezed Rachel's hand.

"Jules." He said, unsure of what to say next. "Um—if, if you ever need…I mean I know..." He hated being at a loss for words. Hated being unable to talk to her. Hated that it was awkward.

"We should catch up." She interrupted his ramble, seemingly without thinking. "Plus Rebecca could use a friend her age." She rushed the words, like she was trying to cover.

"Have you been to the McDonald's with the new PlayPlace?"

"No, but she's been begging. Monday at 5:30 okay? Sorry it's so early it's just—"

"Bedtime." It was his turn to interrupt now. "Sounds great. And Jules, again, I'm so sorry." She smiled a sad smile and from the corner of his eye he saw the little girls wave goodbye.

"Thanks Shawn. See you soon."

He had to force himself to turn away. To walk to his car and wait till Monday to speak to her again, knowing this was the second chance he never thought he'd get.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_**Okay guys, I'm revamping this whole thing. I'll be taking the Spoiler out for now, it'll get put back in when the time comes, but it messes with posting chapters and reviewing and all that. That being said, for __anyone who hasn't read this story before, here's the deal. This story started out as a one-shot (Chapter 10 in Some Very Shules Moments) that I decided to make it's own story, so the ending-or really more of a middle, but a very significant point in the story is already posted and as such, many people know where this is heading and at first I had the last chapter as a spoiler for anyone who wanted to know how it ends (or middles?) Regardless, as stated before, having a constant end chapter really messes with posting middle ones so I'm cutting it. If you still need a win or are one of those people that likes reading the last page of a book before you get there, you can still go read the Second Chances One-Shot and you'll get Ch 1 of this and the spoiler (but be aware, for the book, it's 10 months, not 6). I'm really quite cool with you doing that, but yeah, it's a choice you get to make. :)_

_Anyway, hopefully that made some degree of sense! But even if it didn't...read and review! The reviews seriously mean so much to me, I read every one of them and even respond to them in the next chapter for my books. (If you don't want me to respond to yours, you can PM or just say you'd rather not be mentioned-but don't let it keep you from reviewing!) And I hope you enjoy this story, I truly love writing it._


	2. The Prep

She wasn't sure how she had gotten through the weekend. There was the funeral, then the burial the next day. All the mourners and the family saying they were sorry. Saying how tragic it was. Saying how bad they felt for her. But did she feel bad?

She _did_ know how she'd gotten through the weekend…Shawn. Today was Monday, which meant she finally got to see him. Him and his daughter—Rachel had her name been? She still couldn't believe it. That he had come. That she was seeing him again. That he had a daughter. That he still made her feel…

No. She couldn't. She couldn't let herself go back. Her husband had just died. She had a daughter, he had a daughter, they were different people now…

…or were they?

She'd find out. In an hour she'd find out. But first, she had to figure out what to wear…

* * *

"Gus! What do I wear?" Shawn asked his best friend as he stared at his suitcase in the spare room.

"Shawn, you're going to McDonald's to catch up, just wear normal clothes."

"But it's Jules…" He was overthinking this. Gus was right, it was just McDonald's with their daughters. He couldn't believe Juliet had a daughter, nearly a clone actually, the only difference was Rebecca had her father's eyelashes.

Her father…what was he thinking? Juliet just lost a husband, her daughter just lost her father…but what had she said? 'Daddies are mean'…Was there something underlying there? Jules had dropped her gaze when Rebecca said that.

But still, it may have just been grief.

But it didn't look like grief…in fact it looked more like pain and anger…

Still, he needed to take it slow. He put on a button up short sleeve shirt and looked at Gus. It had been a year since he'd seen his best friend, since Rachel saw her favorite uncle, and he felt bad about that.

"Look man, I just want to say thanks, for everything. I'm sorry if I've been a little crazy the last couple days it's just…"

"Juliet. I know Shawn. But you can't race—"

"I know Buddy, and I won't. I can't, not with Rachel in the mix now too. She's my world. But really, I know we dropped in kind of unexpected, and I've been bad about keeping in touch, but sales keeps moving me." He couldn't believe he just said that. That he was a salesman—he hated salesmen—but he did what it took to be happy, or what he thought would make him happy…"I'm sorry." Gus nodded and Shawn took one last look in the mirror and smiled, he still looked good…

"Baby girl! You dressed? We're going to go soon!" He yelled down the hall to Gus' family room where he had last seen her playing.

"Shawn? Good luck." Gus gave him a pat on the back and he nodded as he went to face his past.

* * *

"Rebecca! We're going to be late!" She called down the hall to her daughter's room. "Come on!"

"I'm not going!" She heard the frank response.

"Rebecca Lynn, you've been asking me to go to this McDonald's for weeks, and now we're finally going and you're not coming?" Her daughter was the light of her life, but also outrageously stubborn and frustrating at times.

She looked over to see her baby's small frame in the doorway, wearing her favorite polka-dot dress and holding a doll Declan had bought her that she never played with. She was holding it, staring at it—just staring at its plastic face. "I should be more sadder." She said softly as she looked at Juliet with tears forming in her bright blue eyes, effectively breaking Juliet's heart.

"Oh, Sunshine, Baby girl, come here." She crouched down and opened her arms wide as her daughter ran into them. "It's okay. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to not be sad." As her arms bounced with her daughter's sobs, Juliet had never felt more inadequate. How did one deal with this? She just sat on the floor and pulled her baby onto her lap, holding her tight and rocking. "I love you Baby girl, it's okay."

The only response was garbled words, meaning hidden beneath the tears and sniffling. "What Sunshine?"

"Bu-ut…but…he was myyyyy…my Daddy! I sh-should m-m-miss him-mm!"

Juliet wiped a tear from her eye and buried her face in her daughter's wavy hair for a moment before whispering in her ear. "Rebecca, baby, you do miss him. That's what you're doing right now."

"But I still don't like th…the stu—stupid doll!" She sobbed and even as Juliet held her daughter tighter, she couldn't help but laugh. It was a stupid doll—Declan bought it for her as an apology because it talked and wet it's diaper and all sorts of other things, but he got so annoyed with it he took the batteries and motherboard out the first night—successfully locking all the joints in odd positions.

"Sunshine, you don't have to like the doll, or cry all the time, or be sad all the time. Your daddy loved you; even when he didn't show it well, and he would want you to be happy, not punish yourself for not being sad enough. Okay?"

"So…so I can still go to the PlayPlace and laugh and play even though my daddy died?" Rebecca had pulled back from the hug to look her in the eye and as she wiped her little nose Juliet smiled and kissed her on the head.

"Absolutely. So do you want to go to McDonald's and play with your new friend?" A vigorous nod and eye wipe from her miniature. "Good, now let's clean up your arm, that's gross. As she led her daughter into her bathroom, Juliet couldn't help but wonder if _she_ should've been 'more sadder'.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_I suppose I should warn you all, this story isn't always going to be feel good-but there are some hard emotions to deal with here, and I want to do them justice. But let me know what you think! Review! PM! Favorite/Follow! Do ALL the things! (Imagine the meme holding a pineapple). There will also still be funny moments here, but it's not so much a comedy as a heart-warmer or whatever. Anyway, I hope you like it!_

_Frodo...(you get to keep the abbreviated mostly because I'm lazy) Thank you for being my first review! Way to be!_

_The Potato Salad...if you've read my other book, you know that I eventually abbreviate almost everyone's name, unless I can't think of an abbreviation, so you will eventually become Potato in all likelihood, or TPS, but I figured I'd give your full alias the first time. And if you're opposed to either of those nicknames, tell me what you would prefer. I'm just lazy. But keep reviewing! I'm glad you like the story and squealed! :)_


	3. The McDonald's Chat

"Daddy? Can I play before dinner?" Rachel asked as he helped her out of her carseat.

"Oh, Baby Girl…I'm not sure. It'll depend on the line and what Rebecca's mommy wants to do." He took her hand and started walking toward McDonald's with his skipping daughter.

"What should I call her? Rebecca's mommy?"

"Mmmm, I don't know Princess. We'll have to ask, but maybe start with Ms. Juliet." He held open the door for his five-year-old princess and she immediately pointed inside.

"Daddy! It's Rebecca! Do you think we can be friends?" She was bouncing on her toes, the way she always did when she was excited, the way he tended to.

"Yes, I think you already are, look how excited she is to see you." He saw Rebecca pulling on Juliet's shirt and pointing at Rachel.

Rachel stopped bouncing and looked seriously at Shawn. "But Daddy, can we stay here long enough to be friends? I don't want to move again, I want to stay near Uncle Gus, and Grandpa"

His heart broke a little, he thought she'd enjoy getting to see the country, and it was okay while she had been too young to go to school, but she needed to start kindergarten and he didn't know what to do. "We'll see Baby, let's get dinner."

* * *

"Mommy? What should I call Rachel's daddy?" Rebecca was pulling on her shirt and pointing to Shawn, who was looking at his daughter with a tender expression, one she hadn't really seen before.

"I don't know Baby Girl, we'll see, maybe call him Mr. Spencer for now." She had a feeling he would make some comment about Mr. Spencer being his dad—but she'd see. Rebecca called Gus 'Uncle Gus' when she saw him, which wasn't often, but for some reason she didn't really want her daughter calling Shawn 'Uncle'. She wasn't sure what Rachel should call her—not Mrs. Rand, she hadn't been thrilled about taking Declan's name and now that he was gone, she wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't switch back to O'Hara, Rebecca was a Rand, but she cringed a little every time someone called her that.

Juliet didn't have to wait long to see what Rachel would call her, she dragged Shawn in to the restaurant—he smiled the whole time her small body pulled against him—and marched up to her and Rebecca. "Hi Ms. Juliet, can I call you that? And can Rebecca and I play before dinner?" She was precocious, just like her father, and Juliet couldn't help but laugh. She didn't generally let Rebecca play before they got their food, but as she looked into Rachel's, and after a second Rebecca's, pleading eyes, she couldn't help but cave.

"All right, but don't get too sweaty! I don't want to sit with a stinky little girl, Rebecca!" The girls cheered and ran into the PlayPlace hand in hand. "Amazing, they've known each other for a total of, what, ten minutes? And they're best friends." Then she turned to see Shawn looking after his daughter with a soft smile on his face. "Oh, I hope it's okay with you that I told them they could play."

"Of course, she wouldn't have asked if I didn't say it was okay with me. She knows better."

"You're obviously a great father, she's wonderful by the way—and just like you." Shawn lightly put his hand on her back as they moved into line, guiding her. She doubted he was even aware he was doing it, but it sent chills throughout her body, she had always loved the feel of that sure touch on her back, guiding—not pushing.

"I don't know how it happened, because I was nothing like that at her age, but she's amazing. And Rebecca is so beautiful and sweet—she could be your clone."

She smiled, but she didn't know how to feel, being so close to Shawn, hearing his indirect compliments. It filled her in places she hadn't realized she was empty. But she couldn't let herself fall back into the way they were. Instead, she ordered and paid for her and Rebecca, and found a table near the window to the PlayPlace as Shawn waited for the food. He brought over both trays and as she watched him place them at the table with an easy smile, then go call the girls from the PlayPlace, she saw flashes of what could have been.

* * *

With Rachel cuddled next to him and giggling and Juliet sitting across from him with her equally giggly daughter, Shawn couldn't get over how little his life reflected what he had planned and expected.

"Daddy guess what?" Rachel said as she pulled the toy out of her happy meal bag and handed it to him—she knew she had to wait until she finished eating to play with it and they had agreed it was less tempting if he held on to it.

"What?" He stuck his face close to hers so their noses touched.

She giggled and pushed him back. "Rebecca has the same middle name as me! Lynn!"

He smiled at his daughter and looked as Rebecca nodded ferociously while handing Juliet her toy—apparently they had the same agreement. And he couldn't say he was surprised about the name—he had pushed for Lynn as Rachel's middle name, secretly hoping to connect his daughter to Juliet. Abigail didn't know that was Juliet's middle name and had suggested it offhand. He felt a little guilty about his reasonings for wanting the name, but they had agreed and Rachel Lynn was named before she was even born. "That's amazing, Baby Girl!" He couldn't let himself make eye contact with Juliet.

"Hey! That's what my mommy calls me!" Rebecca chimed in. "Mommy! Mr. Spencer calls Rachel the same thing you call me!"

"Woah—Mr. Spencer is my dad…you can call me Mr. Shawn, but that's funny." It was interesting that he and Juliet had the same pet name for their darling little girls, the same parenting technique regarding McDonald's toy, the same…well, just about everything as far as he saw.

The rest of the meal was centered around the children—Shawn learned that Rachel and Rebecca didn't only have their middle and pet names in common, but their favorite color (purple), favorite domestic animal (dogs), and their favorite animals were flip flopped with the other's second favorite (Rachel's favorite the giraffe, Rebecca's the elephant). Rachel had always been good with new people, but he'd never seen her connect so immediately and completely to anyone before. They were supposed to be in Baltimore next week, but he knew it would break Rachel's heart if she had to say goodbye to her already best friend. They dismissed the girls to go play again and Shawn looked at Juliet, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Clearly sensing his hesitance, she spoke first. "So…are you ready for Rachel to go to kindergarten next month?"

"Ha, no. Not at all. She's not even registered anywhere. My job keeps me moving all over the country so I'm not really sure where to put her."

"What do you do now?" She asked and he felt overcome by the uncomfortableness of having to catch up with Jules.

"I'm a salesman for an electronics company. When Rachel was little, it was fine that I moved around—I taught her the basics and my mom helped a lot, but Kindergarten…" He sighed, he'd been avoiding thinking about it all summer, but now that it was August, he realized he needed to figure it out.

"Shawn the salesman? How did that happen?"

He looked down, they were skirting around it, the pain in the truth of their past. "Abigail said I should call her if I stopped trying to catch serial killers. So I quit Psych and didn't have any source of money—her friend got me a connection with my company and I've been working with them ever since. When she left, they offered me the traveling position and I jumped on my chance to get out of California." And he'd been running ever since. "But how are you? How is Lassie? I got the wedding invitation but there was a huge sale I had to get in Tulsa."

"Yeah, Declan and Rebecca were sick, so we couldn't go either, but it seemed nice. I haven't talked to Carlton much since I got reassigned though." He looked at her questioningly and she continued. "When I got pregnant, I quit. Declan and I thought it would be the best option. But when he…" She dropped her gaze, clearly trying to hide something, but he couldn't figure out what. "I mean, I missed it. So when she was a little older I went back, but Carlton had already been reassigned, and now his partner and mine are sleeping with each other and my partner's wife hates me because she thinks _I'm_ sleeping with him and overall I actually miss Carton, but we never have time to talk and I don't know what we'd talk about aside from work."

"Ah." He was still sifting through the information she just rattled off but he thought he had it. They were still skirting around any real conversation though and he was starting to think they'd never be able to talk normally when she interrupted his thoughts.

"Shawn. What are we doing?" Her eyes were brimming with tears. "I mean, I can't do this, can you?" He held her gaze, unsure of what to say. "Shawn, we kissed—and, and it was amazing, but I went on vacation, I…I don't know why. I went on vacation and came back and that was the last day I saw you. You didn't come to my wedding, didn't return my calls, nothing. And I couldn't blame you. The first couple years I was okay, but I've spent the last four years in a loveless marriage and everyday I wondered how things would've been different if I had gone to Canada instead of the Amalfi Coast."

"Jules." Tears were falling from her eyes and he couldn't deal with it, he couldn't see her sad, and the idea of her being in a loveless marriage fractured his soul.

"No, Shawn, let me finish." She wiped her eye and looked at him seriously. "I broke your heart, and don't—don't deny it because I don't care about your ego and you know it's true. I broke your heart because you broke mine when you picked Abigail over me that first time. But it happened, we had a chance and I ruined it, and now we have to deal with that and I can't pretend like it didn't happen."

He didn't know what to do. How to respond. "You're right." He said as he reached for her hand. "Jules, you shattered my heart, and I ran away, and it was cowardly and stupid but I couldn't work, couldn't be near you and know I could never have you. And yes, being in love with you put a strain on my marriage, and for a while I blamed you for Abigail leaving—I could never fully give myself to her because I already belonged to you. But for the past five years it's been me and Rach against the world, and that's great, it is, but it's also really lonely. I might move back to Santa Barbara, Jules. It's where Gus is and where my dad is, and I don't want our daughters to be best friends and have us unable to speak because of our past. So I'm letting go of the pain and the bitterness, because when I saw you…Jules when I saw you I knew I was home. And I know your husband just died and it's been six years and we've both changed and have daughters now. And I'm not saying anything will happen or anything, but I want to be friends again. Do you think we can be friends again?" In his head he thought back to that conversation they had on the bridge in Canada after he first started dating Abigail. It had been tough then too, awkward, tense, but they'd gotten through it.

"I'd like that. I'd like that very much." She wiped a tear from her eye and he smiled and geared the conversation to something they were both comfortable and familiar with, something they could joke about—Gus' love life.

* * *

"Uh oh—Rebecca, is your mommy crying?" Rachel said as she looked through the cloudy plastic window of the suspended bubble and the clear glass one that separated the PlayPlace from the restaurant.

"She cries sometimes. She tries not to let me see." Rebecca looked with her and Rachel thought she looked sad, but she couldn't totally decide why.

"Wanna play ninja tag? It's like regular tag, but you have to stay in the tube-y thingies and you get to hide.

"Okay! You're it first!" Rebecca's eyes brightened and Rachel was glad, she didn't want her new friend to be sad. She started counting as Rebecca scurried away but looked through the window while she counted. Her daddy looked sad too, but a different kind of sad than he normally did. And then when she was done counting—all the way to twenty, she knew how and she didn't even make a mistake—he laughed with Rebecca's mommy and he looked happy like he did sometimes when they played tickle monster. She liked when he looked that way, and she wanted to stay here with her daddy being happy and Rebecca and Uncle Gus and Grandpa—she just had to figure out how to make him stay.

* * *

"Ready or not, here I come!" Rebecca heard Rachel call from somewhere behind and above. She found the perfect spot that let her hide or run if she wanted. She liked having someone to play with and not just pretending. And Rachel was funny. She hoped they could go to kindergarten together because even though she couldn't tell Mommy, she was kind of scared and Rachel would probably hold her hand and play games. But Rachel's daddy made her mommy cry and look sad like her daddy did, and that wasn't nice. She looked through a hole in the plastic and was surprised to see her mommy laughing and hitting the table. She hadn't seen her laugh that hard before—it was like she was on TV. Her daddy never made her laugh that hard. Maybe Mr. Shawn wasn't bad—Rachel liked him, Mommy liked him.

She heard the sound of Rachel coming down the tube she was hiding in and looked away from her mommy and Mr. Shawn—deciding she wanted him to stay for at least a little while—to crawl away, gleefully giggling until Rachel caught her.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Sorry it's been a while since I updated! I seriously had the week from hell and couldn't write at all, but I whipped this up and hopefully it's good!_

_Frodo...I'll try to work on Kate this weekend. But no guarantees. And hopefully you're able to review, I didn't think about that messing things up, but whatever, just review any chapter you please!_

_MrsB...Is it bad that I'm glad you cried? It's encouraging because it means that these aren't just words I'm writing, but feelings, emotions, what have you. You may not cry this chapter, it's not terribly sad or anything, but I'm glad you like my work. And after this week, honestly, I wish I could just quit and be an author/photographer, but considering I have no means of supporting myself...school it is. Still, it means a lot :)_

_Cap...there really wasn't much of a story to Shawn being a salesman, but we'll see how it plays out here, because clearly he hates it. _

_Potato...you didn't say I couldn't call you that ;) anyway, sorry this update took longer-again, sucky sucky week. Anyway, I literally laughed out loud when I read "LOLNOSHULESTIME", which was kind of bad because I was in class talking about, like, paranoid schizophrenia or something...(on a side note-my mental health [aka PSYCH] prof reminds me of Shawn, so that's fun). Anyways...this whole story is going to be more show than tell, or that's the plan, we'll see how it pans out. So yeah, glad this is helping with the withdrawal, that's basically why I write. (And to escape the overwhelming world of education)_

_Okay, so I took the spoiler out for a variety of reasons-but have no fear of reading the last chapter anymore (actually, Ch 4 changed, so please read it). And again, if you want to read what happens, go look at "Some Very Shules Moments" chapter 10. And also check out my other book "The Somewhat Psychic Adventures of Spencer 'Kate' Jones"! It's pretty awesome and much more true to the show in style than this is, but I love them both. Leafless-pineapples for everyone {#} {#} {#}_


	4. The Ride Home

They had talked for four hours, until a parent came out and told her that Rachel and Rebecca had fallen asleep in the PlayPlace, snuggled up with each other in the curvy slide. She had caught a glimpse of them, just before they woke, and it was the most precious thing she'd ever seen. Her miniature and Shawn's, clinging to each other and ignoring everything else.

They had talked about life. About trials, disappointments, joys, and regrets. And while they never actually said the words, they talked about how they missed each other. How if it weren't for their daughters, they wouldn't have gotten through the last several years. She was glad they were talking, glad they were trying to be friends—just friends.

But still. He was Shawn. And while he was purposefully less flirty, or maybe he had matured in the last six years, she realized after she was married that Shawn was her one love. Not to say she hadn't loved Declan, she had, and he was exactly what she had always thought she wanted…but all along there had been the residual love of Shawn lurking beneath.

And now…it was amazing and heart wrenching to see who he'd become. He was gentle and sweet with Rachel, but firm and authoritative at the same time. She saw a maturity from him she hadn't known existed, but there was still a playfulness with his daughter. And with hers. She thought back to the way Rachel had woken when Shawn called her name, but Rebecca stayed fast asleep when she called. And how Shawn had asked her and Rachel if it would be okay for him to carry little Rebecca to the car. And now as she looked in the rear view mirror at her sleeping baby, she could only wish Shawn was in the passenger seat, holding her hand across the console.

But she couldn't think that. It was too soon. Too much. She couldn't fall back in love with Shawn.

* * *

"Daddy?"

He really needed to implement a solid bedtime. It had been a constant barrage of questions since he had put the quietly sleeping Rebecca in Juliet's car. "Yes Baby?"

"Do you love Ms. Juliet?" She asked the question plainly, but he knew she was aware of the significance of it.

"What do you mean?" She was so perceptive, so utterly aware of his every emotion that it was difficult to keep any secret from her—he suspected she even knew about Santa.

"Do you love her?"

"What makes you ask that?" It was pointless avoiding the question, but he hoped she'd be just tired enough to let it drop.

He looked in the rearview mirror to see his baby playing with her thumbs, trying to form the response. "I think you love her. Because of the way you look at her. Do you?" She looked up at his reflection in the mirror when she asked the question, her piercing green eyes staring down his.

"Honestly? I don't know." It was an honest answer, one he knew she'd accept. But it was true, he didn't know if he loved her. Yes, he had loved her since he met her, and while the past six years had been hard on both of them, he couldn't deny the spark at every touch, at certain glances, in some of the subtle quiet moments. But she had hurt him, as much as Abigail had when she left, and he didn't know if he could risk that kind of vulnerability again when it had wrecked him so utterly the first two times.

"It's okay if you love her." The words had been quiet, he barely heard them over his own thoughts, but she'd said them. And before he could think of a response, her head rolled back and she fell asleep.

He looked at his little girl, and thought of Rebecca. She was part of this too. He couldn't love Juliet without loving Rebecca—and while carrying her to the car and feeling her little body cling to him gave him the same sense of pride and satisfaction as when Rachel did that—which was almost never due to her near endless energy—he knew it had to be more than that. He had to truly love her for all she was, even the parts of her that came from Declan, and he wasn't sure he could love Rebecca, love Juliet with his influence so deeply engrained.

He looked back at his sleeping baby girl, and for a second part of him wished her hair was a little blonder and her nose looked more like Juliet's, but he shook the thought from his head—he loved Rachel for all she was. He pulled into Gus' driveway and when the engine stopped, Rachel's eyes popped open. "We're back Rach, let's go brush teeth and I'll read you a story okay?"

"Daddy, I want to stay." She said sleepily.

"In the car? Don't be ridiculous—"

"No, I want to stay here with Rebecca." She looked at him, serious yet pleading all at once.

"I know Baby, I'll do what I can okay?" It was the best he could give right now, and he knew it wasn't enough.

She unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up so she was close to his ear. "Can I at least see her again before we go?" He saw the glimmer of a tear forming in her big green eyes.

"Yes, Rach, I'll make that happen. Maybe we can go to the park. I'll call Jules tomorrow." She nodded and hopped out of the car, heading towards the door. It was the one part of her he couldn't figure out. Both he and Abby liked traveling and going to new places, trying new things, but his little girl wanted nothing more than roots. And here she could have them, instantly—they'd be picking up where he left off, but was he ready for that?

* * *

Lloyd walked out as Juliet pulled into her driveway, he and her mom had been staying with them since Declan died. She was so glad to have them there, they'd been great with helping her and Rebecca process and adjust, but something had kept her from telling them who she was going to McDonald's with. "She's in the back." She whispered as she stepped out of her car. "I'll just take her to my bed."

"Let her sleep for a minute, your mother doesn't know you're home yet." He replied as he softly closed her door. "You want to tell me who you met at McDonald's? Because I know that's not normally a four hour excursion for you two. Just between us, I promise not to tell anyone, but I know you want to get it off your chest."

She did. Desperately. She wanted to talk about how she felt and what parts of her didn't want to feel and all of it. But she couldn't. And Rebecca would probably tell her mom the next morning anyway. "Shawn." She blurted. Lloyd looked confused for a second before the name registered.

"Shawn Spencer, the Psychic who broke your heart?"

"I broke his too." She hadn't really thought about it much before, but she realized that's exactly why she went on vacation with Declan, and just saying it now she realized how childish and unnecessary that was. "He came to the funeral—he has a daughter Rebecca's age now." She was trying to redirect him before he caught on to her guilt. She doubted it worked, for he gave a knowing smile, but moved on anyway.

"I'm sure that was fun. Explains why she's so exhausted. You two catch up? You and Shawn?"

"Yeah." He looked at her expectantly and she continued, letting loose some of the emotions she was trying to dam. "And it was wonderful and awful. First it was awkward—and things had never been awkward before. But then we got past that a little bit and…"

"And you saw how things could've been." He finished the thought she hadn't really formed yet. "Juliet." He took her hand and she looked at him through teary eyes, unable to hold back the pain and confusion anymore. "It's okay to feel like this. He meant a lot to you. But listen—you need to take it slow, and not just for Rebecca's sake. You're a widow, and yes, your husband was scum and I knew it but you tried so hard to cover it up that I let you—but you're a widow and you're scared and alone—or worse actually because you're not alone, you have a daughter to care for—but you're looking for comfort and familiarity. It's okay if you let him be that for you, but don't fall in love with the man you knew because I guarantee you the father of that little girl is a different man than the one you kissed six years ago." She couldn't speak, she was still processing how right everything he had just said was. "I love you Juliet. I'll put her on your bed and tell your mother you're looking for your phone in the car." He kissed her on the head, then opened the car door, scooped up Rebecca, and went inside, leaving her to get back in the car and fall completely fall apart.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_So this story is going to be fun time-wise because sometimes we're going to be days or weeks into the future and other times it's going to be minutes after the chapter before...just a random note. And I sadly won't be posting for a while because I'm going on vacation and won't be able write or post while I'm gone...but I'll be thinking of ideas! I actually have a list of the next chapters saved on my phone and the whole 'the' thing is going quite well :)_

_Guest 1...I took the spoiler off for a variety of reasons, but I appreciate your reviews and I didn't think you were being mean so no worries. :)_

_Guest 2...I'm glad you think it's beautifully written, I'm honestly pretty proud of how it's turning out, and I'll be sure to post a new chapter as soon as I can._

_Potato...I'm glad you're cool with it because it's kind of awesome to refer to someone as Potato. Anyway, I'm a pro at masking laughter so I avoided any stares thankfully. And thanks, this week is way better and I did no homework/studying over the weekend so that was basically awesome. And I know, exactly two months! _

_Fear-the-Spork...might I just say I love your alias? Also, my roommate has an aversion to spoons, so I bought her a metal spork for Christmas my freshman year...it's also a screwdriver, random fun fact of the day! Anyway, *returns the very tight hug*. I smiled when I saw that cause it was an unexpected and appreciated internet hug-but not in a creepy way...I'm glad you love the story, really, it's one I'm falling in love with as I write and I hope that comes through in the chapters. _

_And to any newbies or shy-folk who don't feel like reviewing...REVIEW! Really, it helps me gauge how things are going and it just makes me super-ridiculously happy.(Google "you will never love anything as much as this girl loves her fish", that's the mental image of me with reviews-the reality is I just smile and work harder to post a new chapter, but the mental image is cute)_


	5. The Day at the Park

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Did you call Miss Juliet yet?" Rachel had apparently woken up and decided to wake him by pouncing on his stomach.

"Ugh, no, Rach, I was sleeping. I'll call later." He rolled over to check the time, it was only 7:30—but knowing Rachel she had already been awake for an hour.

"No." She looked stern and put her face right in front of his. "You have to call right now."

He looked at his beautiful little girl, so forceful, so aware of what she wanted, so like him. "Fine…go find my phone Baby Girl."

Suddenly, the phone was in front of his face. "I already got it. And I think I found her number, there weren't many people with a 'ju' sound name."

He laughed as he took the phone and blinked to clear the sleep out of his eyes. She had in fact gotten Juliet's number pulled up on his contact list and he just hoped he didn't wake her up as he pressed 'call'.

* * *

_She was with Shawn, putting pressure on a wound while his daughter screamed that she broke his heart. She was trying to stop the bleeding, trying to fix him, but someone kept shaking her, kept distracting her, kept calling her. _

"Mommy! Wake UP!"

She opened her eyes to see Rebecca holding her phone and looking annoyed. "What's wrong Sunshine?" She asked in her gravelly morning voice as she blinked her eyes clear. She noticed the name on the phone, 'Shawn Spencer' and thought she could hear him through the phone.

"Mr. Spencer wants to talk to you—Rachel's Daddy." Rebecca had clearly been up for a while, she was already dressed, but she placed the phone in Juliet's hand and looked at her expectantly.

As she brought the phone to her ear she could hear Shawn saying 'No no no, Rebecca, don't wake her up!' She couldn't help but smile, but it felt weird to talk to him so immediately after a dream like the one she'd just had. "Hello, Shawn?" She said into the phone.

"Jules, I told her not to wake you up, I'm so sorry." His voice sounded gravelly too, like he had just woken up, and she had to suppress the thought of waking up next to him in bed with messy hair and a deep gravelly voice.

She coughed away from the speaker to clear her own throat. "It's fine, I should be up anyway. What's up?" She kept flashing back to her dream, but pushed the thoughts from her head.

"Uh, well, Rachel wanted me to call." She could hear the little girl on the other end coaxing her father and smiled again—she was just like Shawn. "She was wondering, because I don't know when we're going to have to leave again, she just wanted to know if..well,…if you wanted to go to the park or something today, that way the girls could spend some time together. That is unless you're working, or I mean, I could babysit Rebecca if you are working, unless you have—"

"—Shawn!" She had forgotten that he tended to ramble when he got nervous around her. "I'm not working, hold on." She looked at Rebecca, who had been intently watching her conversation. "Rebecca, do you want to go to the park and play with Rachel today?" She watched her daughter's face light up as she started nodding vigorously. "We'd love to come to the park." She said back to he phone with a laugh. "Ten'o'clock? Each pack a lunch for a picnic, sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds great, I'll bring pudding for all!" She smiled again, he still was the same man. "See you then, Jules, tell Rebecca we say hi."

"Same to Rachel. Bye Shawn."

* * *

"Uncle Gus! Uncle Gus! Guess what?!" Once her dad had hung up the phone, she bounded out of the room to find her favorite uncle. She had found him in bed—grown-ups slept forever—and jumped on the empty space on the bed.

"Mm? Rachel? What?" He looked funny in the morning and he had funnier jammies than her daddy.

"Daddy and I are going to see Rebecca and Miss Juliet again!" She bounced on the bed; she was so excited to see her friend.

"That's great…" He was slapping around his nightstand looking for something but she didn't care. "What time is it Kiddo?"

"7:30! I can read a clock. Uncle Gus, I have a secret, can I tell you?"

"I don't know, can you? Are you going to hurt someone's feelings if you do?"

She thought about it for a second, she hadn't told her daddy she _wouldn't_ say anything…"It's more of a hunch than a secret, can I tell you?" Hunch was one of her favorite words, even though it wasn't a mix of honey and punch…

"Sure then, shoot Kiddo." He said and she grabbed his face and whispered her hunch in his ear.

* * *

After breakfast and an in depth conversation with Gus about how he wasn't _trying_ to fall in love with Juliet again and trying to explain how perceptive his daughter was, Shawn was finally showered and dressed. "Baby Girl, what do you want for the picnic?"

"Pudding!" She called back from the living room.

"Got that covered," He had packed four chocolate and one vanilla pudding, just in case Rebecca had terrible taste in delicious foods. "what else?"

She had walked to the kitchen and he smiled at how cute she looked. He let her dress herself today and she had her favorite purple shirt on with bright teal leggings and to top it off, a green tutu that she loved but he didn't usually let her wear in public. However, after her second bout of tears in response to the lack of certainty of their future, he let her put it on. "More pudding?" She asked with that devious little grin he loved so much. He crouched down and stalked over to her, arms extended and fingers wiggling before he grabbed her and spun her around the kitchen, her giggle warming his heart. "Okay, okay!" She cried between the laughter. "PB&J and pineapple!"

"That's my girl." He said into her ear before he put her down to gather supplies. He had thought about scolding her for talking to Gus about his undecided feelings toward Juliet, but decided against it—she couldn't help what she saw, and it was good that she could go to Gus with things. Still, he'd have to be careful how he acted around Juliet today. "Go see if Uncle Gus has some toys he'll let us bring to the park, I'll show you how to throw a Frisbee and a ball if he's got them. Then bring a story or two if you want." She ran out of the room and he finished packing their lunch, bringing some extra food just in case Jules or Rebecca wanted more when Gus walked in.

"Shawn."

"Gus, don't be a worry wart, I'm not going to jump into anything with Juliet. I can handle myself."

"I was going to say have a good time, and that I'll probably get done with my route today so if you wanted to drop the half-pint at Henry's tomorrow I could dominate you at paint ball, but good to know."

Shawn smiled, that probably wasn't the entirety of what his best friend had planned on saying. "And by that you mean _I _cover _you_ in paint? You're on Buddy."

* * *

Rebecca had talked excitedly the entire time in the car, and when she saw Rachel get out of the Blueberry she barely even gave Gus a wave before she was off with her new best friend at the swings. Juliet waved at Gus as he backed out—he was obviously late for his Pharm Rep route. She stood watching the girls as Shawn walked up to her and they exchanged casual hellos as he guided her to a park bench where they could keep an eye on the girls. They pretty much had the park to themselves; it wasn't exactly a hopping place on a Tuesday, but she knew neither of them would be comfortable leaving their daughters out of sight for a moment.

"Did I apologize for your daughter waking you yet? I really should've thought more before I called, but Rach had just woken me up and I can't really seem to say no to her today."

She laughed as she leaned back on the bench to stretch out her spine. "It's totally fine, I really needed to wake up, I was having a terrible dream." The second the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back.

"What about?" He asked, clearly concerned.

"Oh…well…" She couldn't make anything up, all she could think of was the dream, Shawn bleeding out in her arms right in front of his daughter. "It was you actually…" He seemed taken aback and she quickly continued, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "No, it was—ugh, how do I explain…you were dying. Bleeding out in my arms. And Rachel was there screaming that I did it to you, that I killed you. It was—"

"That's awful." He looked like he wanted to take her hand but thought better of it and she couldn't decide if she was happy about that or not. "Jules, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say—but Rachel thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced pineapple, so unless you actually shot me, she'd never…but it was just a dream right?"

She nodded and fought to keep herself from putting her hand on his leg. It had been so long since she'd been anywhere with a man, since she'd really talked to, well, anyone but Rebecca. And now she was here with Shawn… "Reb's actually warming up to you too, she's a little wary of men, but she was really excited that I'd have someone to 'play with' while she played with Rachel."

Now he turned to her completely, his expression focused and his eyes intense. "Look, Jules, you don't have to tell me what happened with Declan or why Rebecca thinks that 'Daddies are mean', I mean, I'm here if you want to talk, you just don't have to. That being said, is there anything I should be wary of? I don't want to hurt her in any way."

His caring and thoughtfulness touched her heart, and for a second, she thought about telling him everything, but she stopped herself. "You're—that's really sweet Shawn. I don't really know what to say…I, I can't tell you about him yet, I just, I can't. But the only thing I can think of with her is to not call her 'Rebie'—I call her 'Reb' sometimes and that's fine, it'd probably be fine if you did it too, but he'd call her 'Rebie' with this snarky tone when he was—well, just don't call her that, I doubt she'd like it." He nodded and turned towards their daughters again and she was haunted by the thought of Declan sneering their daughter's name, picking on her for her size, for her difficulties with bed-wetting, for anything and everything he could think of and how much she wanted to shoot him in those moments. Her advice to Shawn was as much to keep her sane as it was for her daughter. "Anything with Rachel?"

His face fell, just slightly—really if she didn't know him so well or wasn't a detective, she might not have even noticed. "Nope, nothing I can think of." She followed his gaze to his colorfully clothed daughter, laughing gleefully with her own little girl. She could see the mix of Abigail in her features, but Shawn's daughter was solidly his own. "We brought some balls and gloves, can Rebecca throw or catch yet?"

"She's not a great catch yet, but she's got a killer arm." She said with pride. For a five-year-old, she really was powerful.

"Rach is pretty good with catching, but she can't throw for beans, you want to help her with that and I'll help Rebecca with catching?"

"You're on. And, because there's nothing better than betting on your children, whoever can throw and catch most accurately by lunch time wins free ice cream for everyone from the other parent."

"Making me bet against my own child?" He said with fake horror. "I guess Rach will just have to enjoy her consolation ice cream because I'm a far superior teacher to you."

* * *

"Okay Becks." Mr. Shawn said close to her ear and she giggled at his nickname for her. She liked it, but it sounded kinda funny. "So, remember, the glove is just a giant hand. You got this!" He was a nice man. He showed her how to catch with little rocks first, he just dropped them on her hand and she closed it, then they eventually moved up to the ball and now she was actually really good at catching. Even with the glove. _And _he promised if she tried she'd get ice cream after lunch. She didn't even have to catch the balls, she just had to try—her daddy never would've done that. He would've yelled a lot more.

"Okay Mr. Shawn!" She said as she stood in front of her mommy. Mommy had been showing Rachel how to throw, and at first she wasn't sure if she liked that, but then she started having fun with Mr. Shawn and she didn't mind her mommy having fun with Rachel. "I'm ready Mommy!"

* * *

He was buying ice cream—Rachel had gotten 5 balls in the glove and Rebecca had gotten 4—still, he was so proud of his little girl and of the improvement Becks had made. He didn't know where he got that name from, it just kind of slipped out while he was coaching her, but she had just laughed and told him she liked it so he figured it would stick around. Lunch was filled with the girls excitedly telling how they learned and how much better they were and all the other adventures they'd been having Now Juliet was watching them while he bought the promised ice cream—chocolate cones for everyone, Becks had as big a chocolate tooth as Rach did. He brought back the ice creams and laughed and smiled at the stories his daughter told, then wiped the chocolate off her face and hands before she ran off again.

"They're something, aren't they?" Juliet said with a soft smile playing across her lips. He did love her. He'd never really stopped, but seeing her with Rebecca, and more-so with Rachel, and talking with her—she was different, yes, and there was something she wasn't saying that would likely stop them from ever having a chance if they didn't get it out in the open, but he loved her. He just hoped Rachel wouldn't say anything.

"Definitely something. Thanks for helping Rach with throwing. You're an adequate teacher I suppose…"

"You're just jealous." She retorted as she pushed him over a little bit.

They called the girls back for a story, which they both thankfully fell asleep in the middle of. He didn't say anything for a while; just stroked Rachel's hair while Jules stroked Rebecca's. Suddenly, Rachel's eyes shot open and she sat up a little and looked at him with tears welling in her eyes. "Daddy" she whispered, "can't we stay? I want to stay." He looked at her, trying to find the words, but before he could think of anything she had laid back down and fallen back asleep.

He didn't expect what happened next. "Can you?" Juliet whispered once she was sure Rachel was asleep. "I mean can you get transferred here or something, Rebecca—well, we would really love it if you two were around."

"There's no stationary jobs in the area with my company." He mumbled with regret, he wanted to stay, for Rachel and himself.

"What about Psych? Chief Vick sometimes makes noises like she misses you and our solve rate has definitely gone down since you left." She was still whispering, but barely, she sounded excited.

"Jules." His heart fell, he couldn't keep lying to her, if he wanted even a little bit of a chance, he couldn't lie, but he was worried he'd lose her all over again right now. "Jules, I'm not a psychic…I just—"

"Oh, I know." He looked at her with surprise. "Declan told me—when we went to the Amalfi Coast. I guess he knew I was thinking about you or something and he just told me and I was kind of pissed at you. Looking back, I realize how manipulative it was of him, but in the moment…well, it doesn't matter, I know, and so does the Chief, we talked about it when I got back. But Shawn, only we know, and we can't argue with your results—I can talk to her and she might give you a second chance, if Gus could do it too, you two work best together."

She was so matter-of-fact he could barely process it. She knew, and she was still willing to talk to him, still wanted him to come back. "Then yeah, that'd be great. But Juliet, I'm—I'm so sorry I lied all those years."

"I think I always kind of knew, but why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to hate me. And then—then I realized I couldn't move forward with you until I told you, and I was going to, I swear I was going to but—"

"Oh my…" He saw the realization dawn on her face. "That's what you had wanted to talk to me about when Declan told me was a fraud, he just beat you to the punch…and I went—oh, Shawn…I'm…I…"

"It's fine." But he knew it wasn't. He knew that had been a critical moment, a moment that led them here. Declan beat him to the punch, in so many ways and now instead of having his arms wrapped around Juliet while their twin daughters slept, instead of having his face buried in her neck, smelling her hair and feeling the warmth of her on his body, he was separated from her by his daughter and hers. But he couldn't let her know those regrets, couldn't let her know the pain, no one could know. "Ancient history. But do you think I could actually restart Psych? Having a positive bank account probably helps, but even if I can get Gus in on it, we don't have an office."

"You do actually, we bought your old one—I think Karen always hoped you'd come back. But I still have to talk to her so let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Well, still, thanks Jules, for, well, for everything I guess." She smiled at him and he felt that spark again, the one that lit a fire in his heart—a fire that had been snuffed out at its peak—a fire that he wasn't sure if he should let burn anymore.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_So I ended up writing on the car ride back from vacation, I've got this one done and a chapter for a little down the line, but I wanted to get it written before it left my head and it's intense but good. (And now you get to dwell on what it contains, mua ha ha ha ha :) )_

_Frodo...glad you liked it. :) This whole book is way more Shules focused than my other one, but I still love it, and the girls-it's tough to write from the perspective of a 5 year old, but I feel like they're too important to not include in POV._

_Psych7706...thank you for reviewing! I'll keep writing as long as I think of new things to write :)_

_Potato...you forgot the 'The' in your alias! I did have heaps of fun, and thanks to you, I watched the Season 7 gag reel! Blooper reels are always my favorite, I once watched seasons 1-6 gag reels before an exam instead of cramming and it totally calmed me down, yay for Psych! Anyway, hope you like this chapter!_

_EmmaLemmaz...your alias is particularly fun to say...thanks for reviewing! Hopefully this chapter is good too!_

_And to everyone, sorry this one is so long, I had a lot to cover...the next one will likely be shorter :) Keep/Start reviewing!_


	6. The Interview

She had gotten him the interview with Karen. He was supposed to meet with her in half an hour and he didn't even know what to feel. On the one hand was intense excitement. He'd missed being a psychic and more than that he missed the family he'd had with Psych. Working with Gus, with and against Lassie, alongside Juliet—they had been some of the happiest years of his life. But now things were different.

For starters, he wasn't sure that Psych could sustain him and Rachel, in fact, he was pretty sure it couldn't. Plus, working alongside Juliet had been one thing when he was young, single, flirtatious but so much had changed. For one, he _knew_ he was in love with her—without a doubt. Rachel taught him the meaning of love in a way he couldn't have fathomed before and while he loved Juliet differently than her, he knew the love was deep and true. Yet he couldn't be flirtatious anymore. He had to take it slow. Give her time to heal and decide if a relationship with Juliet was really what was best for him and his daughter—not to mention hers.

Life was infinitely more complex than it had been when he started Psych more than ten years prior. But at the same time, he had never loved a job more, and never been better at one. With Psych, he was helping people, solving crimes, and it all just felt like playing with his best friend. If there was a way, even a slim chance of getting that back, he couldn't waste it.

She had made a huge mistake. Getting Shawn the interview, pushing so hard for him to come back, it was like signing her own death certificate. Not that she'd actually die from having Shawn around, but it was a mistake.

So why had she done it?

Maybe it was the way Rebecca looked when he was coaching her. Her beautiful but broken Baby Girl smiling, laughing, looking up to this man. Or maybe it was the way Rachel looked at him—love, awe, and admiration for the man she called 'Daddy'. He would do anything for that precious little girl and it was that kind of love and dedication she craved for her sweet Sunshine.

He had changed in the last six years, but the more she explored the changes, the more she realized they were all for the better. Except for the pain that dimmed his eyes. She saw flashes of the Shawn she knew, the joy and excitement with even the most mundane parts of life. She missed that and was heartbroken to see it had been lost, but when he laughed with their daughters, or in the briefest glances at he, she saw it again. She had asked him if he could stay before she even thought of the implications for their future and now that he was about to interview she couldn't decide how she wanted it to go.

He walked into the station, amazed by how little it had changed in the last six years, and nervous about his future there. But then he saw her. A nervous smile and a wave from Juliet and he knew, he knew he was home.

She saw him and instantly she wanted him to get the job. She needed him to get the job. This wasn't just his chance to restart Psych, it was her chance at life, at happiness, at love. She needed him to get the job to save her and her daughter, but she couldn't tell him, couldn't tell anyone.

He smiled at Juliet as he walked in to the Chief's office. Her desk hadn't moved. Really, so little had changed, yet at the same time he felt like he had walked into a different world.

"Mr. Spencer," Chief Vick said with a smile as she stood to greet him. "Have a seat."

He shook her hand then sat in the seat she gestured to. "Chief, looking ravishing as ever."

"It's good to see you. Now, let's talk. O'Hara said you're considering moving back to Santa Barbara."

"Yes, Chief. You see, I have a daughter now and I think she'd like to settle down and spread some roots. How is Iris by the way?" There had been some minor changes to the office, but nothing substantial.

"She's great, she'll be going to the 6th grade this fall, thank you for asking." He saw her eyes well up ever so slightly at the thought of her child going to middle school, and Shawn sympathized. He couldn't believe Rachel was going to Kindergarten. Then, suddenly, the Chief's eyes cleared and became sharp, focused. "Shawn, let's talk about why you left. The truth."

"Chief," He didn't know what to say, he'd been dancing around that truth for the past six years. "You know why." He glanced out the window to see Juliet pretending to work while really monitoring what was happening on his side of the glass. "I, I didn't—I had lost."

"You only lost because you left. Mr. Spencer. I try not to be over involved in my Detectives' personal lives but I promise you she would've changed her mind had you fought for her."

It was strange, hearing this from the Chief, who usually didn't give advice so straightforwardly. "She got engaged. How—"

"The fight's not over until there are _two_ rings on that finger. Your leaving only blinded her to his faults." He had never thought of it like that before. He thought he was doing the right thing, bowing out, but had he really just been giving up? "That being said, convince me why I should hire you back."

His mind was still reeling around what she had said, and suddenly he wasn't sure if he should come back. "I—Chief, should you even hire me back?"

At this, she smiled again. "Shawn, off the record, we both know you're not a psychic. But, on the record, this Department has never been nearly as successful since you left. Now, there are other contributing factors to that, but the point is, I'm very much considering giving you a second chance here. I understand you have a daughter now, so I'm willing to give you your old office free of rent with the understanding that your first priority is the SBPD. Now, convince me that I should give you this chance."

He thought about Rachel, about Gus, Jules and Rebecca, his dad. Nearly everyone he loved was here and he was getting the chance of a lifetime, he'd be a fool to squander it. He smiled, raised a hand to his temple, something he hadn't done in years, "Lassie and Juliet's partners are sleeping together, they may actually be involved in smuggling something. Two of your officers are stealing from the evidence department—watches and such, and that big case you've been stuck on for a week…it was the secretary, it's always the secretary." It had been so long since he'd done that. To a degree he always used visual cues to cater to whoever he was trying to sell, but using his memory, sorting through things he had looked at without really seeing and piecing it together to make a conclusion—it felt good.

"Welcome back Mr. Spencer," Chief Vick said with a smile as she handed him a key and a file, "Don't mess this one up." She gave him a knowing smile and he rose from his seat.

"Thanks Chief." It had been one of those comments that could be taken on many levels. He looked at the file and saw pictures of Juliet and Lassiter's partners—his first case.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Head's up everyone, the case is a really minor part of this…Also I have another chapter written! The next chapter in fact, so if I get a bunch of comments I'll probably post it sooner (hint hint ;) )_

_SourSusan…glad you like it! And that's cool that you haven't read the spoiler, it'll be interesting to see what you think of the story as it progresses so keep reading and reviewing!_

_Guest…I'm glad you liked the chapter :)_

The_ Potato Salad…haha, well I'm glad you've got it covered this time. And I grew up in the south so I don't get car sick, I usually read in the car but I forgot a book so I wrote instead :). And yes, bloopers are seriously the best, but I'm glad my writing is a pick-me-up too!_

_Frodo…Well as always, I love getting your comments :)_


	7. The Househunt

He had gotten the job. He was staying.

She had gone with him that afternoon to register Rachel at the same school Rebecca was enrolled; they were even placed in the same class. And now, a week later, she was getting dressed to go house hunting with him.

How she had gotten herself roped into this was beyond her, she had offered and he had accepted, but she couldn't actually think of how they had started discussing house hunting together. But, this way Rebecca kept Rachel occupied and vice versa.

"Rebecca! Are you ready Sunshine?" She double-checked her makeup in the mirror. There were bags under her eyes—there had been for at least the past four years and she always felt like she looked haggard and awful.

"I'm ready! Why can't we just go to the park and play?" Rebecca had dressed herself that morning, so she was wearing her new school t-shirt with a sparkly skirt and pink cowgirl boots. Not what she would've chosen, but adorable nonetheless.

"Because, Rachel and Mr. Shawn are moving here and they need a house."

"Oh. Can Rachel and I have a sleepover at her new house tonight?"

She laughed, the two were thick as thieves and she was so glad. "She won't move in right away, but maybe some day, okay?" They had never even talked about sleepovers, but Juliet wasn't surprised her daughter knew about them. When Declan was—well, the way he was—she'd lock herself in the play room with the TV turned up to drown out the noise. It had been too much TV for such a little girl, but Juliet hadn't been able to take away her baby's escape. However, since Shawn and Rachel had come, Rebecca had been less fixated with the TV and more inclined to pester her for play dates or throw a tennis ball against the brick wall outside to practice catching.

"Okay. Come on Mommy! Let's go!" She felt Rebecca tugging on her dress and smiled, her daughter had never looked so happy.

* * *

"Rachel! You ready? Jules and Becks should be here any minute!" He wasn't sure how they had decided to go house hunting together, but he couldn't say he minded terribly. He'd hit a snag with the case, they we're definitely smuggling something, he just couldn't figure out what or get enough evidence to actually pin it on them—but house hunting with Juliet would be a good distraction. And Rach had been pestering him to see Rebecca all week. Plus, Gus was out on his route and he didn't have a car.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Rachel came bounding into the room and leapt on his bed, bouncing with excitement. "Are we really going to pick a house? We're really staying here?"

"An apartment, Baby Girl, but yes, we're staying." His old job had paid for hotels, food, car rentals, everything really, so he—with Gus' strong encouragement—had saved nearly everything he earned over the past five years, but things were still going to be tight. They had the office rent free, but there was no guarantee on how much he and Gus would bring in with Psych and he didn't want to have more time away from Rachel by getting a second job. "Things are going to be a little different though, okay? We can't eat out much and you won't get as many new toys."

"I don't care." She said it so simply; she really didn't care about stuff. "I'll just play pretend with Rebecca. Can she have a sleepover once we live in a –partment?"

Those two girls were already as close as he and Gus were, and he couldn't be more pleased. Her missing that friendship had been the one part he regretted most about moving her around, but now she'd found her best friend. "We'll see Baby Girl."

* * *

She walked up to Gus' door with Rebecca's hand in hers. It had been a long time since she'd gone to Gus' house and she regretted that—Rebecca loved her 'Uncle Gus', but it was often too difficult, too painful to talk to Gus without thinking of Shawn and lamenting past decisions. So as she walked up to the door and knocked, knowing Shawn would be on the other side of that door, she felt incredibly insecure and nervous.

"Mommy! You have to knock harder." Rebecca said dramatically as she stepped up and pounded on the door.

She heard Rachel's voice on the other side, yelling for Shawn to hurry up and couldn't conceal her smile. She hadn't known Shawn as a child, but from what she gleaned from Henry, Rachel was likely a slightly sweeter version of her father. However, as she heard Shawn turn the lock, she felt as though he was turning the contents of her stomach. She couldn't explain why she was so nervous about seeing him today, but as the door opened she found that had it not been for Rebecca holding her there, she likely would have turned and run.

"Jules! This is how you house hunt? You look great, I feel underdressed." She saw him look her over, but was surprised by how warm the look made her feel and how honest the look was. He actually thought she looked good and for the first time in ages she wasn't worried about the bags under her eyes or the crows-feet she was already starting to get.

"You look fine Shawn." She said as her nervousness died and was replaced with a smile. He looked good in fact, she noticed he was slightly greyer at the sideburns, but it gave him a distinguished look instead of an aged one.

"Ms. Juliet?" Rachel said, peeking out behind her father. "Can you braid my hair before we go? Like Rebecca's is?" Her eyes were bright green, like she remembered Shawn's being, like she had loved.

"Sure, sweetie. Go grab a brush." This little girl, who gleefully ran into the depths of the house and resurfaced a moment later with a brush, captivated Juliet. She glanced at Shawn as she stepped inside and was surprised by the look on his face. It was soft and sweet, but there was sorrow there too, a deeper pain she hadn't really seen before. Then he turned and their eyes met. The sorrow behind his eyes, the depth of betrayal felt like a knife in her own heart, but as he smiled slightly, the look turned. There was a touch of hope behind the pain and she couldn't help but wonder if she contributed to that.

* * *

They had looked at seven apartments all across town over the past six hours, with only a quick stop for lunch at McDonald's. The girls were tired, he was tired, and he really hoped this place wouldn't suck.

"Okay girls, you know the drill, check out the bedrooms." The girls, with matching braids, trudged up the stairs to the door. Initially they had been so excited, but now he knew at least Rachel needed a nap, Rebecca likely did too. This place was empty, which was good because it took away the temptation to play with other people's toys, but it would also be more difficult to occupy them long enough to get a real feel for the place.

The apartment manager seemed friendly enough as he unlocked the door for them. "Take all the time you need." He was glad the man wasn't going to follow them in. It was more stressful and kept him from snooping as thoroughly as he wanted. Plus, they tended to comment on what a beautiful family he had or asked how long he and Jules had been married and it just made everything more awkward. Seeing Rachel's excitement at having her hair braided, how much she enjoyed the attention, the love—it brought back a part of him he tried so hard to submarine—the pain of Abigail leaving him and abandoning their daughter.

"Thank you." Juliet said, breaking his stream of thoughts. He could tell she was tired too, but he had to admit he was glad she had come. He'd never really looked for an apartment. He'd crashed at different places, paid rent and such, but he'd never looked for a home for his family. He'd moved in with Abigail right after he left Santa Barbara and he and Rachel had lived out of hotels since she left. So throughout the day, Juliet had reminded him of important things…like a full kitchen…or closets…or having two bedrooms.

"Yes, thank you. We'll be sure to lock up before we leave." He said to the manager who nodded and walked down the hall. The girls were already upstairs, looking at bedrooms. This was a townhouse actually, and one of the more affordable places he'd looked at and as he walked in behind Juliet, he had to admit he was impressed. This could finally be the place.

* * *

"This isn't actually far from my apartment." She said as she walked in. The townhouse was nice, nicer than any of the other places they'd looked at. She heard Shawn close the door behind him and paused in what would be the living room to wait for him.

"Really? Great, that'll save gas on driving Rach and Becks to and from our houses. Want to look at the kitchen? You can tell me if the appliances are acceptable."

She let out a quick laugh as she started moving and felt tingles spread through her body from his gently guiding hand on her back. What was she doing? She couldn't do this. Not with Shawn. Not again. She felt like her mind was a tennis match, bouncing back and forth between wanting Shawn and wanting to run.

"These appliances are great. Nearly top of the line. How is this place so affordable?" She said to break her own stream of thought, but it was true. It was nicer than her current residence, bigger too, not that she was jealous, they'd been so glad to find a place that would take them with such terrible credit.

"Foreclosure. I feel bad, gaining from someone else's misfortune, but I like this place." She saw him look around, touching and sniffing and examining everything—'psychically' sorting out if it was okay. "The girls are awfully quiet, should we go check on them?"

She nodded and let him guide her up the stairs. She was fairly sure he wasn't even aware he did it, but her heart relished the feel while her brain set off alarms. She kept seeing flashes of this place, fully furnished…with some of her furniture. Imagining she and Shawn kissing their girls goodnight before snuggling up on a couch to watch a movie—or not watch.

It had to stop. She couldn't be doing this. She had to stop imagining him, them, in her life.

* * *

This was the place. He knew it. Something about it felt like home. The only issue was, he suspected a big part of that had been Juliet. This place suited her. It was homey, not just a place to stay, but a place to _live_. To grow. To be a family. And as he walked up the stairs to find their daughters, he found himself wishing the four of them would be moving in instead of just him and Rach.

Juliet opened the door to one of the bedrooms and they walked in. He was shocked to see a bed, chest of drawers, and dresser were all in the room—if bare of anything personal. "Partially furninhed. Whaaaaat?" Juliet laughed and he had a vision of this room, the Master, fully furnished, with her jewelry and collectables scattered across her dresser, her clothes sticking out of some of the drawers. Waking up in the bed next to her in the morning…

"And this is nice—oak I think. Shawn, you have to take this place, you're not going to find a better deal." Her words had snapped him out of his head.

"You're right. Once I know Rachel likes it I'll go put an offer on." He walked out of the room quickly, unable to stay there with Juliet a moment longer without losing control. There were three bedrooms, though as he opened the door to the second one, he saw that it was more of a storage room than a bedroom—absent of furniture except a small desk, it looked like it might be able to fit a twin. The third room was far larger, with a high ceiling, and a bed loft suspended by chains in one corner of the room. It was at least a full, maybe even a queen-sized bed, but the loft could easily fit two twins, and it was suspended a little above bunk bed height with a castle mural painted on the wall beneath the bed. As he stepped in, he saw Rachel and Rebecca sprawled on the bare mattress that was left on the loft, fast asleep. He smiled and looked to see Juliet was smiling too, then the two quietly walked out of the room.

* * *

"I'm going to say she likes it." Juliet said with a coy grin.

"Who wouldn't? Did you see that loft? And the princess castle? It's like it was made for her. Can you stay here? I'll go get the guy." His eyes were bright again, flashing as green as they used to when he solved a case, and she nodded as he ran off.

Once he left, she quietly snuck back in to the room. It was perfect. Rebecca would have loved a room like this. Her room in their first house, before they lost the money, had been massive, far too big for an infant, but she had no memory of it. Now, it was barely bigger than that oversized closet of a bedroom they had looked into just before this one.

She popped on her toes to see the girls on the bed more fully. Once again, they were cuddled together, heads touching at the start of their matching braids, and even in their sleep they had smiles on their faces. She walked out again, afraid to wake them, knowing how much they needed their sleep, and found herself going back into the Master bedroom. She doubted Shawn even noticed the vaulted ceiling, and as she opened doors she found that the second bedroom was so small because the Master closet was so large. Another door revealed a Master bathroom and she had to contain her jealousy at how amazing this place was. She walked over to the bed; it was a beautiful, king-sized bed with attached nightstands. As she sat down, she thought about the way Shawn had looked at the room, looked at her before she spoke. It's like he was there, but not really there—and the look he had given her spread a kind of warmth through her every cell. She laid back, thinking about everything and realized how exhausted she was. Figuring it wouldn't hurt to rest her eyes for a moment, she let them close and instantly slipped into sleep.

* * *

"Jules!" He walked back into the house that was nearly his and whispered her name, not wanting to wake the girls. "Jules!" He searched the downstairs; there were closets and even a laundry machine he hadn't noticed on the first pass. The manager said he was lucky, they were the first ones to look at the place and he knew it would get snapped up right away. The offer still had to get cleared by the bank and do other stuff he didn't totally understand, but the manager said if everything went well, he could move in at the end of August.

He ran upstairs into the girls' room—no, Rachel's room. It was just them moving in, he couldn't think of it as "the girls'" room despite how much he wanted to. Juliet wasn't there and the girls were still asleep. He skipped over the second bedroom and looked in what would be his room. Juliet was there, asleep, on his bed. The sight took his breath away as his brain once more filled in details that weren't there. Sheets, blankets, curtains on the windows, a pile of dirty clothes he was too lazy to throw in the hamper, lamps, their girls' artwork on the walls…

He blinked, and it was gone. The walls and windows were bare, as was the mattress Jules was sprawled across. He walked over to her, still stunned by the vision of his perfect life, and gently rubbed his hand against her cheek, the way he woke Rach on the rare occasion she slept in. "Jules, I got it." He said as she woke. She smiled as she looked up at him, then sat up abruptly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just meant to rest my eyes. But congrats!" She had stood up and was fussing with her hair and he couldn't help but laugh, she looked so beautiful and he was having trouble staying in reality.

"Well, it's practically mine. The bank has to approve something and then there's other whatnots and whosits but the guy said he liked my chances. I'm a homeowner, whaaaaat?" He was really quite proud of himself, it felt good to take an adult step.

"I'm so happy for you." She said with a heartfelt smile.

"Should we hug? For a successful house hunt?" She nodded and he held his arms open. She walked into his arms and he wrapped them around her, suddenly overwhelmed by the feel of her, the smell of her, everything. "Jules, I—"

"No, Shawn, don't." He felt her push away and he reluctantly let her go. "Don't finish whatever you were going to say. I should go, I have to go, I'm sorry, do you think Gus could pick you up?"

"Jules, don't, no, you don't have to do this. I'm sorry." He should've kept his mouth shut, but he just couldn't.

"You don't get it. I can't do this. Not with anyone but especially not with you. You don't even know me anymore. I have to go."

She was panicking and he didn't know why, but he didn't want her to leave. "So let me get to know you!" He said as he grabbed her arm, trying to keep her from running.

He hadn't even seen the slap coming, but it stung like crazy immediately. He let go of her arm and brought his hand to his face, stunned.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I—I just have to go. I'm, I'm so sorry Shawn."

He stood, immobilized by shock and confusion and watched as she carried a half-awake Rebecca out of the house. A moment later, as he was texting Gus for a ride, he heard Rachel's sweet, tired voice.

"Daddy? What's wrong with Ms. Juliet? Does she not like this place? Because I do."

He crouched down to look into her half-awake eyes. "I don't know what's wrong, Baby Girl. But we're not looking at any more houses, hopefully this one will be ours."

"But did Ms. Juliet like it?" She asked as she rubbed her eyes clear.

"Yes, she did. Why?" He didn't understand why Jules' opinion was so important to his baby, but she just shrugged and walked downstairs. Unsure of what to do, he followed her and the two explored until Gus came.

* * *

"Mommy, why did we leave so fast? Why aren't Rachel and Mr. Shawn with us?" Rebecca, still groggy from her nap, asked.

"It's really hard to explain Sunshine." Was all she could think to say. She was fighting back tears that she didn't want her sweet baby girl to see. She had come close, too close to kissing Shawn, to letting him in. It was just her and Reb now and that's how it needed to stay. She had probably hurt him, with the slap, with her panic, but it was better that way. If he was hurt he'd stay away and if he stayed away she'd never slip.

"Mommy, is Rachel going to live in that house?" She wasn't sure if Rebecca's ability to drop a subject was innate or just learned at a very young age, but she was so thankful.

"I believe so, Mr. Shawn wants it to be."

"I like it. Do you think Rachel and I could sleepover there? We both fit in the bed."

There it was, the key issue in keeping Shawn away—their daughters' incredible friendship. "We'll see Baby Girl, we'll see."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Well, this chapter is probably the most edited one thus far, but I think it works, and I have another chapter and a half written! Woo! But keep reviewing or I'll probably space the posts out longer…(I know, I'm mean, but honestly I forget when I posted and the reviews remind me to post again)_

_With that..._

_Potato…Iris…I didn't think about that, I should write her in! Because yes, she would be awesome._

_Shulespsych…I hope you squealed! I seriously love writing this, so I'm glad you like it!_

_shulesluvvah…it's soon-ish, right? I'll try to make the next one even sooner :)_

_SourSusan…ah, if only it were that easy…but alas, there is far more to deal with than the job change! Keep reading though, we'll see if/how they work things out!_

_Frodo…back at Psych he is, but it's at least two chapters before he's really back…again, the job is a more minor part of this story, but you'll be happy to know I'm working on a new chapter for Kate as well! And as always, keep reading!_

_To the rest of you, read, enjoy, review! And, because I don't think I've said it…while I own Rachel, Rebecca, and this plot, I don't own any characters from the show PSYCH…anyway, review!_


	8. The Last Day of Summer

"Shawn! How is it possible you have this much crap if you've been living in and out of hotels the past five years?" Gus looked like a turtle under the sofa chair he was carrying, a sight Shawn couldn't help but find comical as he carried in a small lamp.

"Gus! You can't have a place like this and not furnish it! I've spent the past two weeks scouring for the perfect chair to match the sofa my dad gave me!"

"Shawn, these are completely different patterns, they don't even kind of match." Shawn watched as his best friend teetered under the weight of the chair.

"It matches in comfy-ness Uncle Gus!" Rachel piped in from under a stack of blankets in her arms.

"Exactly. Now let me help you." Shawn shot his daughter a big grin then gave the chair a little push so it landed with all four feet on the rug Rachel had picked and a very surprised and unenthused Gus sitting in it.

"That wasn't helpful, Shawn. I think you tweaked my sacrum!"

"How about this, I never do that again, and you never say 'tweaked my sacrum' again—ever."

"That's what it's called Shawn, it's a medical term."

"Don't be a Tweety-Bird Uncle Gus, that was so sa-weet!" Shawn looked with pride at his daughter for her nonsensical comment, he had a feeling growing-up in Santa Barbara would be very good for her.

* * *

"Mommy! I want to see Rachel!" Rebecca whined at the dinner table.

"Rebecca…" Her tone was warning without quite reaching harsh. It had been the same whine for two weeks now. "You'll see her tomorrow at school." She couldn't believe it was already the last night of summer. Tomorrow her precious baby would be going to kindergarten.

"Does she live in that house? Can we have a sleepover?" Rebecca's thoughts had been almost solely focused on her best friend the past two weeks and Juliet had to admit she was glad school was starting—as much as it would be hard.

"Yes, she lives in that house." Shawn had left her a message the day the sale went through and she'd replied with a bland 'Congrats' text. She felt bad for being so cold, but it was the only way she could think of putting distance between them. "And you know what I'm going to say about the sleepover."

"I know, 'We'll see'…" Rebecca said, disheartened as she began pushing her food aimlessly around her plate. She'd made spaghetti—Rebecca's favorite—for the last night of summer, but neither of them had eaten much.

"What do you say we Skype Grandma and Grandpa? I know they want to see you before your first day!"

At the mention of her grandparents, Rebecca lit up. "Yay! Can we do it now? Pleeeease Mommy?"

"Go get the iPad." She said as she collected the plates. The iPad had actually been a gift from Frank, or Granddad to Rebecca. Juliet had checked for a receipt, but it was legal and had been great to keep in contact with all three of her parents and Rebecca's only living grandparents. Plus, it was a gift that worked for her and Reb—which is why it had been their little secret, hiding it in the tampon drawer when Declan had been alive. Actually, it was still probably there. She'd gotten a card and a letter from Frank when Declan died, and her mom and Lloyd had only left a week ago, so they hadn't used it since the accident.

"Got it!" Rebecca said with glee as she turned it on and unlocked it. "Can I press the button?" Juliet nodded as she pulled her ever-bigger Baby Girl on her lap.

* * *

"Jerk Chicken, Jerk Chicken, Jerk Chicken!" Rachel and Gus chanted while Shawn dug through a box for some plates. He'd probably do a lot of unpacking tomorrow while Rach was at school—school…he couldn't believe it was the last day of summer. The last two weeks had flown by with everything coming together for the townhouse and prepping to move. If it hadn't been for his mom sending Rachel a backpack filled with school supplies, he likely would've forgotten.

"I'm coming you hungry mongrels!" He yelled over their chant as he carefully pulled out the plates from the bottom of the box. As he divvied up the Tupperware box of Jerk Chicken Mrs. Guster had sent as a housewarming present, Shawn glanced around. He was home, eating dinner with his daughter and his best friend, but something—someone—two someones, were missing.

"Uncle Gus! Guess what?" Rachel said as he slid a plate in front of her. She was sitting on a dish box, he hadn't found her booster pad yet and this happened to be the perfect height for the table.

"What Kiddo?" Gus asked as he dug into the food practically as Shawn was in the process of sliding it.

"I get to see Rebecca tomorrow! At kindergarten!"

"Sweet deal—but no getting yourselves sent to the principal's office on the first day like your dad did."

"As did your Uncle Gus—it was a joint effort that landed us there, and don't let him tell you otherwise."

"Nu-uh, no. Rachel, your father is a dirty liar, it was purely his doing." Gus was wagging his fork between Rachel and him while Rachel giggled uncontrollably.

"Gus! You can't tell my daughter I'm a liar!" He said with mock horror. Then he turned to his giggling ball of love, "Rachel, Baby Girl, your Uncle Gus here is the dirty liar. I just happened to suggest that he pour the entire bucket of rice on Miss Dinkle's head, he didn't have to listen!"

Then, his amazing girl looked at her favorite uncle and, without missing a beat, said, "Uncle Gus, you shouldn't listen to peer pressure." Before bursting out in another fit of giggles.

"That's my girl."

* * *

"Mommy, I'm going to go to bed so I'm not tired for school tomorrow. Goodnight Grandma and Grandpa!" Her precious daughter waved at the screen before slipping off her lap.

"Putting herself to bed, that's impressive!" Her mom said after blowing her daughter a kiss.

"That's my girl." She said with pride. She wasn't sure where Rebecca got that, and honestly she'd been a little surprised by Reb's decision to go to bed, but she was happy all the same. "I think she's excited to see her friend, they're in the same class."

"Is that the 'Rachel' she's been raving about the past couple weeks? The one who just moved there with her father?"

"That's the one." Juliet said, hoping her mother wouldn't see Lloyd's knowing smile behind her. "She's been talking about her non-stop lately."

"Well, it's good she has a friend. Okay, Juliet, well it's three hours later here, so I'm going to head to bed. Love you!" Her mom moved to turn off the computer, as she always did, without giving Juliet time to say goodbye, but Lloyd stopped her.

"You go ahead dear, I'll be up in a minute, I just want to ask Juliet something about the computer." Her mom just shrugged and waved goodbye. A wave Juliet mimicked then sat in silence, waiting for Lloyd to present his ulterior motive. After a moment, one long enough for her mother to reach the bedroom, he spoke. "That's Rachel Spencer, isn't it?"

"That would be the one." She replied, unsure of where he was going with this.

"And her father? How are things there?"

She just looked at him for a second, unsure of what to say. "I—I almost let him get too close."

"Almost? Okay, and now?"

"Well…I…"

"You've been pushing him away. Don't deny it, you did the same thing to me when I first married your mother. Juliet, you can't bear all this weight yourself. I told you to take it slow and not fall in love with the man he was, but I don't want you to hold him at arm's length because you're scared. I know you've been through a lot, and I don't know all the details. You haven't told me and that's okay, your mother and I may not be the ones you need to tell, but you need to let someone in. I'm not saying that's Shawn, but it may be. Take your time, be ready, but don't ice him out because he makes you feel for the first time in years. Now, I have to go or your mother will wonder what we're up to. Love you, bye." And with that, the video call ended, leaving Juliet stunned and confused.

* * *

Dinner had gone well, and Gus left for his now guest-free apartment after an intense game of Hi-Ho-Cheerio that Rachel had won. Now, she was curling into the covers of her new bed with wet hair that smelled like her berry-blast bubble bath.

"Daddy, will you stay in here til I fall asleep?" She asked sweetly.

"Of course, Baby Girl." He had bought her the purple sheets and flower comforter she had pleaded for in the store, but they were soft and matched the room, so he was happy enough. He sidled up next to her and rubbed her back as he saw her eyes begin to droop, she'd probably be out in seconds.

"Daddy, why didn't Ms. Juliet and Rebecca come over today?" Her words were getting drawn out as she fought a losing battle against sleep.

"They were busy tonight, Rach." He wasn't even sure how true that was; she hadn't taken his calls since they'd gone house hunting. Initially, he'd felt bad, bad for what he'd almost done, that he'd almost lost control, that he'd grabbed her arm so forcefully—but the more time that passed, the more he got angry. She was ignoring him, shutting him out. It was childish and immature, and two could play that game—so he'd stopped calling a week ago. "But you'll see Rebecca tomorrow.'

"And you'll see Ms. Juliet?" Rachel had put a massive effort into opening her eyes again, sleep had almost overcome her.

"Maybe, it'll depend on when she drops off Rebecca, why?" But before her got an answer, Rachel had fallen fast asleep."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Sorry it's been a while! To make it up to you, I may post another chapter tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled!_

_Maddie…I'm glad you like it so far! I hope you keep reading!_

_ShulesPsych…I'm glad you like Shules angst, because there's going to be quite a bit of it! But the make up will be excellent, I promise_

_Potato…I'm glad you could see it, I tried to add enough details to give the general feel of the house, but not so many that it overwhelmed the chapter. And clearly there are more steps to go :)_

_Review people! I post a new chapter faster when I get reviews :) Keep reading though, even if you don't review. And have an awesome start to your November!_


	9. The First Day

"Mommy, you already taked like a million pictures. Let's go!"

"I'm sorry Sunshine, but you only have one first day!"

"I'll stop smiling." Her mommy looked shocked at what she said, but she didn't want any more pictures. She hadn't gotten to see Rachel in so, so long. "I want to see Rachel! If we go now, I'll smile for pictures with her, I promise!"

She stared at her mommy, who was staring at her, but she was really good at staring contests. "Oh, alright. Grab your backpack, let's go."

"Yay!" She ran and grabbed her brand new backpack and bolted for the car. Once she was buckled, she looked at her mommy in the mirror and saw she was trying not to cry again. It seemed like that all she did, and Rebecca just wanted her to be happy. "I love you Mommy. Just cause I'm going to school doesn't mean I'm all growed up. You can even still call me 'Baby Girl'." Her mommy smiled at that.

"Thank you Baby Girl. I love you sooooo much!" She didn't sound sad, but a tear fell out of her eye.

"Mommy, are you crying cause Daddy isn't here for my first day?"

"No, Baby. I'm not. You know he would've been so proud of you though. He loved you too. But I'm just crying because you're growing up so fast."

"I'm only five." She said, confused. She knew five wasn't that many, but she was bigger than when she was four, and smarter too. She thought about her dad for a minute as she looked out the window at the cars passing by. About how sometimes he'd play with her and read her stories and say he was sorry for being mad. But then he'd say he was tired of playing, that she needed to be quiet, that she needed to go away. So she hid. "Do you think he would've been less madder now that I'm in school and not always home?"

Her mommy's eyes looked real sad then, just in the second she looked in the mirror at the front of the car. "Rebecca, you had nothing to do with your father being the way he was. Okay? Nothing."

"But he said I was loud and annoying a lot." She thought about how her daddy yelled at her and had to blink a lot to not cry. "And then he'd drink from the cup I couldn't use."

They were at school and once her mommy parked the car she turned around so they didn't have to look in the mirror anymore. "Rebecca Lynn," It was her full name, which her mommy only used when she really wanted her to listen. Sometimes, it was cause she was being bad, but sometimes—like this, it was just cause it was –portent. "You are the most amazing, wonderful, loving little girl in the world. Your daddy wasn't always a good man. I never said that before, but I think you always knew. He could be a bad man sometimes, but it was only because of the way he was. It had nothing to do with you. There's nothing you could've done to make him a good man and there's nothing you did to make him a bad one. I love you Sunshine, and he did too, and that's all that matters. Okay?"

"Okay Mommy." She smiled, she knew her mommy loved her, and she loved her mommy. But sometimes, she wished her daddy had loved her like Mr. Shawn loved Rachel. She looked out the window again and saw them; Rachel was holding Mr. Shawn's hand. "Mommy, look! It's Rachel and Mr. Shawn! Let's go!"

* * *

"Daddy, my tummy hurts." Shawn looked down at his grown-up little girl and had to resist the urge to pick her up and run. He was far less ready for her to go to kindergarten than he realized. Instead, he kept marching her towards the school that was stealing her away.

"Sometimes, when I'd walk in to an office to make a sale, or when I go somewhere new, my tummy hurts too. But you know what makes that go away?"

"What?" Her eyes grew wide and he could see the fear lurking within them.

They reached the sidewalk and he crouched to her level, talking quietly so only she could hear. "You. Just thinking about you and knowing I'd get to see you once the meeting was over made my tummy feel better right away."

Her eyes brightened a little. "I'll think of you then. You'll pick me up, right?"

"I'll be waiting at the door, Baby Girl." He smiled and had to hold back tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he squeezed her tight, not wanting to let her grow up.

"Look, it's Rebecca and Ms. Juliet!" Rachel pulled away from his hug and ran to greet her friend and Shawn took a second to compose himself before he stood and turned. But when he saw the tears lining Juliet's eyes, he didn't feel as ashamed; it was hard letting them grow up.

"Mommy, you should take a picture with me and Rachel!" Rebecca said as she hugged his daughter. They were both so cute, both wearing purple, Rebecca in a skirt and shirt combo and Rachel in her new purple dress—also compliments of his mother.

"Do you mind?" Juliet asked as she pulled out her camera.

"Not at all, I actually totally forgot about pictures…" He instantly felt like a terrible parent, but he was still trying to figure this all out. On the road, she had been as much a companion as a daughter, but now, he needed to raise a grade-schooler.

"No worries, I'll take some of just her too." She said as she began snapping pictures of their modeling girls. The conversation felt stiff, and he wasn't sure how much of that was holding back tears and how much was from their last encounter. "And actually, I'll take some of you two if you could take a couple of me and Reb."

"Sounds great. Thanks, seriously, I would've regretted that down the line." He watched as Juliet had the girls go through various poses, then just Rachel, then he got in the shot with his daughter. He was glad he had only unpacked his mildly dressy shirts, because otherwise he likely would've worn an old t-shirt and forever looked like a miserable excuse for a single dad. He knew time was running out as he took the camera from Juliet and began taking pictures of her with her daughter. They were a beautiful pair.

_CLICK_—_Sleek blond hair, brilliant eyes, dazzling smiles, shared and cherished by mother and daughter_. It brought back an ache in his heart. He loved his relationship with Rachel, but he knew that he couldn't act as her mother, that she was missing that critical relationship. It was the hardest part of Abigail leaving.

A teacher came out and told them the girls needed to come inside.

_CLICK—Juliet embracing her daughter with a look of melancholy pride._

He turned and hugged his own daughter, squeezing her tight and rocking her back and forth. "I love you, Baby Girl. I'll be here the second school let's out."

"I love you too, Daddy." He could hear her trying to be brave, and once again he wanted to take her and run, but he knew he had to let her go. He kissed her forehead and, with every ounce of self-control, released her from his hug. He turned to see Juliet let go of Rebecca at the same time and the two little ones reached for each other's hand.

_CLICK_—_Rachel and Rebecca, more backpack than body, walking towards their future hand in hand._

_CLICK_—_Juliet, one arm wrapped around her core, the other trying to hold back tears, watching them walk into the building in the background._

_CLICK_—_A mother's love for her daughter._ Just Juliet's face, partially turned away from the camera, with her hand over her mouth and a tear running down her cheek.

He lowered the camera and walked up to her as their daughters went out of sight. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her back; she flinched slightly, but didn't move away. "You working today?"

"Chief gave me the day off. Said I'd be useless at work. I didn't get how right she was til right now." She gave a half laugh through the tears that were now streaming down her face.

"She said the same thing to me. Come on, I'll make you some coffee, we can blubber like idiots and reminisce about when they were in diapers, then distract ourselves with unpacking boxes. Plus, I believe I live 1.2 miles closer to the school."

* * *

She laughed. She had thought about locking herself in her bedroom with all the photo albums, but misery loves company right? And as she turned and saw Shawn in a losing battle against tears, she decided coffee sounded quite wonderful. "You drive, I can't really see right now." She said with a sniff as they walked back to his father's pick-up.

"Sorry, I still haven't gotten around to finding a car, but my dad let me borrow the truck for the day. You can throw the booster seat in the back."

She did as he recommended and crawled into the passenger seat of the truck. "You think my car will be okay out here for the day?"

He started the car and pulled out of the spot halfway before stopping. "I'm sure it'll be fine, but if you'd prefer, you can follow me back to my house."

She thought for a moment. If she had her car it would be easier to escape. But Lloyd's words rang in her ears. Shawn wasn't trying to push her, and she didn't need to ice him out. They were just two single parents, commiserating over their daughters starting school. "No, let's go. I'll stay with you."

* * *

Those words were incredibly powerful. He doubted she even knew how much. As they dropped off their children, he realized he was being more foolish than anything in being mad and giving her the silent treatment. She was pushing him back because she was scared, and he didn't know what was scaring her, but distancing himself wasn't the way to find out. But they were taking a step. A small one, under the shelter of their children, but at a point where they were both in the dark, she was willing to fumble through it with him. He couldn't think of words to say, so he just nodded and drove, desperately hoping he didn't mess things up.

* * *

He held the front door open for her. It was an incredibly simple gesture, but an amazing one at the same time. She hadn't had a door held open for her in at least three—probably closer to four years. "Thanks." She said as she stepped in to see the mountains of boxes. "Wow…"

"I think I forgot to mention that we literally moved in last night. So it's an utter disaster. But I'm pretty sure I know what box the coffee maker is in and I'm almost positive I have coffee in the same box." He seemed flustered, shifting boxes as they walked toward the kitchen.

"That's an…interesting…armchair." She observed as she looked around. The place was mismatched and unorganized, but she had a feeling it would eventually settle into a mismatched, slightly unorganized home that reflected Shawn's personality.

"It matches the sofa in comfy-ness. And Rach and I decided that's what really mattered. She also picked the rug—so don't judge me."

She looked at the rug to see it was covered in butterflies and laughed. "Are you sure you don't just have a passion for fluttering insects?"

"Come on son, I'm way more in to trucks and mud and dirt—but she thought that would look tacky, and you know what they say, the woman is always right." He stood in the kitchen, looking at all the boxes. There were only numbers written on them, but somehow, she was quite sure he'd find the coffeemaker on the first try.

"Smart man. But you realize she's five—right?"

A smile broke out on his face and he shifted some boxes, then opened one and pulled out an instant coffee maker and several of those individual coffee servings. "Pick out what you'd like while I find the mugs." He was staring at the boxes again and now that she was facing him she could almost see his brain filtering information. "Aha!" He moved toward another box. "And I know. But I want her to be happy. I'm not great with style, and she doesn't really care if things match, so we get things we like. But at some point, I'll replace the rug, put the butterfly one in her room." He pulled out two mugs, ones that they had clearly painted themselves at one of those craft stores, and handed her one with a pineapple.

"This is cute." She said as she browsed coffee options, choosing a delicious sounding mocha.

"It's Rachel's hot cocoa mug, I painted it, but I'm sure she'd be thrilled if you borrowed it." He started up the coffee maker with her mug in place. "She's quite enamored by you." There it was again, the sad smile that held so much more in the eyes than words the words he spoke.

"Shawn, I…She's a great kid. I'm so glad she and Rebecca are such fast friends." That wasn't what she had wanted to say, but when it came down to it, she was still too scared to move past the light, the easy, the common denominator of their children.

"Yeah, me too. Rebecca's amazing and so good for Rach. She's needed a friend." He handed her the mug, filled with piping hot liquid and set up his own.

She stared at the mug, the more she looked at it, the more she realized how masterfully it had been done. Not only was it a pineapple, but 'Rachel' was written in each of the leaves, and all of the scales were actually hearts. She glanced at the coffee maker to see Rachel had painted Shawn's mug, with stick figures and lots of hearts. There was so much love and trust between them, and it was incredible.

"Jules, you okay?"

She looked up at him and realized her eyes were filled with tears. "My Baby." Was all she mustered before she broke down into sobs—not just that she was at school, but that she had missed out on such an amazing father/daughter relationship.

* * *

Juliet was sitting on a bar stool sobbing into her coffee, and he had no idea what to do. He walked around the island and stared at her for a moment before shrugging and finally reaching out a hand and placing it cautiously on her back. She didn't even flinch this time, but almost leaned in to it. He tried to speak, but realized his voice was caught in his throat and tears were clouding his vision. Rachel starting school left him with a sense of emptiness he'd never experienced before. She had been with him, almost constantly, since Abigail left—and now she was gone.

Suddenly his legs felt wobbly and he dragged the second barstool closer with his foot so he could keep his hand gently stroking Juliet's back. But before he sat down, she suddenly rose, spun, and wrapped her arms around his core. After the initial shock wore off, he wrapped his arms firmly around her and held her tight, leaning on her for support as she leaned on him and he couldn't help but think this was the way things were supposed to be.

* * *

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" She yelled as she ran for her daddy's arms. He was standing right where he said he would. Right next to Ms. Juliet.

"Hey Princess." He said and she laughed as he swung her around before holding her close. "How was your first day?"

"Awesome! Guess what? There's only one seat between me and Rebecca and my teacher is really nice and I'm the only kid in the whole class who knows how to tie shoes but I promised I'd teach Rebecca so that she can do it too." So much had happened that she wanted to tell her Daddy but she didn't even know where to start. "Oh and at recess we got to play on the jungle gym and go down the slides and there's even swings!" She looked over to see Rebecca telling her mommy things too. Rebecca was lucky that she had a mommy. As she looked around, she realized that her daddy was really the only daddy there, everyone else had a mommy.

"You okay Baby Girl?" Her daddy looked like he did when she was sick or sad.

"I got scared a little when we first walk-ded in, but I thought of you like you said and I wasn't so scared anymore."

"I'm glad." He blew a raspberry on her cheek and she giggled—it felt funny. "You ready to go home?"

She nodded. "Bye Rebecca! Bye Ms. Juliet!"

Rebecca waved bye and Ms. Juliet said, "Bye! And thanks again Shawn." And then she smiled and looked real happy.

"Thanks?" She asked her daddy as he started walking toward Gramp's truck.

"She came over to the house while you were at school."

She looked at him, trying to see what he wasn't saying. "What did you do?"

"Oh, you know. Cried, unpacked boxes, cried some more."

"Cried?" She asked with disbelief. Her daddy didn't cry.

"It's what parents do when we send our kids to school the first day. We cry. It's why I didn't have to work today."

He set her down by the door and got her booster seat out of the back of the truck. "What do you do now, Daddy?"

"I'm a Psychic for the Santa Barbara Police Department." He said as he got her seat ready and lifted her into it.

"Psychic? Like in the cartoons? I think I'm one too!"

He laughed as he got in his side and started the truck. "Why do you think that?"

"I can see the future." She said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah, what do you see?"

She just smiled. It wasn't exactly like in the shows, but when she saw her daddy look at Ms. Juliet, she felt kind of psychic. "I'm not telling you, or it won't come true." He gave her a funny look, one he kept giving her, but before he said anything else, she started telling him about everything that happened today.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Sorry this one is super long but I had a lot to cover! There were a lot of emotions going on here, but hopefully you stuck with me!_

_Snyders…I have a feeling you're right…just not in this chapter, stay tuned!_

_Psychic17…they are very similar, but they're also a little bit different than their parents, more so Rachel than Rebecca, but yeah, we'll see how they develop. And have a pineapple for your first review! {#}_

_Izzyoceangirl…thanks! I'm actually surprised at how well this storyline works. I mean obviously I prefer how it happened in the show (and could've even preferred it happening earlier…) but it's cool to mess with reality (or television I suppose…) Pineapple for you too! {#}_

_Potato…school has it's ups and downs, but Kindergarten was the BEST! And I agree, I know I'm the one writing this and drawing it out, but it's difficult as a fellow shipper… :D And December could not come quick enough, I go home for the first time since August three days before the Musical premieres!_

_Sunshine…Hallo! Your English was excellent and I'm so glad you like the story! Thank you for reviewing! Pineapple for you as well {#}_

_And why not, Snyders and Potato get pineapples too {#} {#} :)_

_Also, and I swear I'm done after this, I have two chapters written for later in the timeline and they're SO GOOD-in my opinion, so hang with me! Y'all are great. Read and review as always! :)_


	10. The First Case

He'd done it. Had Rachel's school started on September 2nd, he would've done it a month before. They only smuggled the guns on the first of the month when they were being transferred anyway, it was clever and tricky and school starting had caused him another month of frustration. But now he was standing in Chief Vick's office watching McNab take the crooked detectives into the holding cells.

"Congratulations Mr. Spencer."

"Thanks Chief, sorry it took so long, I really tried, but the psychic net—."

"Enough, Mr. Spencer. I know you tried, that's why I didn't reprimand you for taking outside cases this past month. Now, are you ready for your next case? Remember, you'll have to act the part now." She gave him that knowing smile she wore so well before calling Lassie and Jules into her office.

"Chief—what happened?" Juliet asked before looking at Shawn with surprise. He hadn't been in the department at all the last month, and since the girls started taking the bus to school, they rarely saw each other.

"O'Hara, Lassiter, your partners were jointly involved in a gun smuggling operation that Mr. Spencer here has outed. They're being taken into custody and I'm reinstating you two as partners, effective immediately. Now here's your next case, you may go." Shawn watched as the Chief handed Lassie the file, and couldn't help but enjoy the look of disbelief on his face.

"Spencer—you're really back? Here I thought the rumor mill had finally lost it!"

"Oh Lassie, you know I couldn't stay away forever! Gus should be in shortly. Now what's this case?"

* * *

She looked at Carlton, her partner once more, and had to resist giving Shawn a bear hug. He shot her a wink that made her go slightly weak at the knees. She thought back to all the cases they'd worked together, the flirtatious looks, the witty retorts. It was while working with Shawn that she'd fell in love with him the first time, and she couldn't help but wonder if history would repeat itself now that the team was back together.

"Spencer, shoo. Why don't you go get your check signed or something and let the real detectives figure this out." She examined Carlton, even after all these years, she knew him well enough to know he was secretly glad to have Shawn back. They may not have shared personal secrets with each other, but they had been friends and she knew Shawn's leaving had saddened him more than he would ever admit.

Shawn seemed to know it too. "Fine, Lassie. But just this once. Five minutes and I'll be back buzzing just outside your ear." He was moving his hands all around Carlton's face to annoy him, but stopped and turned around with a smile once he was done talking.

"Okay O'Hara, you heard him. Five minutes to figure this out." He marched the file over to his desk and she followed, clearly they were picking up right where they left off. "Here," he grabbed a chair from his now former-partner's desk, "have a seat." She sat, slightly surprised by his courteousness. "It's, it's good to have you back, partner."

She smiled, "You too…partner." It was good to be back, and Carlton's demonstration of affection warmed her heart. She was getting a second chance at her dream job, and she couldn't help but notice Shawn was the catalyst.

* * *

"Dude, it's like someone hit 'reset' on the game. Lassie and Jules are partners; you and I are working with them. It's like deja vu!"

"Except you and Juliet have daughters and Lassie is married with a son."

"Maaan, why you gotta do that?" But Shawn knew he was right. It felt good to have the old team back together, but things would be different. Change was part of life, and there was no way to reset the clock. Not that he'd give up Rachel for anything, but if he could do it over again…he wasn't sure he would've gone about things the same way.

He looked across the station to see Juliet sitting at Lassie's desk. She was focused on the file, but every once and a while he noticed her glancing at her partner and smiling. They hadn't talked much in the past month, they'd both been so busy, but he knew how miserable her last partner made her, and he was glad to see her happy again.

"Okay buddy, let's move."

* * *

"Spencer! Are we boring you?" Carlton barked and Juliet looked over to see Shawn checking his watch.

He looked up and at her. "I didn't get a sitter."

"Crap…me either." Panicking she checked her watch, Reb would be home in 45 minutes. She usually didn't work long on Mondays but this shoplifting case seemed to be growing more difficult with every piece of evidence.

"Spencer, why don't you just go home, it's not like you're being of use right now." She was pretty sure Carlton was going out of his way to keep Shawn from realizing how thankful he was, but it was getting on her nerves.

"Carlton—"

"No, Jules, it's fine. He's right. Thoughts of my five-year-old daughter returning to an empty house are blocking my psychic channels." He shot a look at Carlton then came up with a brilliant plan. "Call the school, have Becks get off with Rach and I'll watch them while you finish up here if you can watch them for a bit once you get off."

"You sure you're okay with that?" He nodded and she raced off to call the school, once again thankful to Shawn for saving the day.

* * *

"Okay Rebecca, this is my stop!"

Rebecca grabbed her backpack and started moving toward the door. She had only been to Rachel's house once, and that was before it was actually her house, but her teacher had told her that her mommy had called and said she should go to Rachel's house after school. Mr. Shawn was at the door smiling and he waved to the bus driver as they got out.

"Welcome home girls, snacks are in the kitchen!" He said, he had a nice smile and he seemed happy that they, both of them, were there.

"Thanks Mr. Shawn! Where is my mommy?" She was hoping her mommy would be at Mr. Shawn's house too, but she didn't see her.

"She's still at work, she'll be by later to watch you two while I go to work." He talked nice to her.

"String cheese! Rebecca there's string cheese! Thank you Daddy!" Rachel came running out of the kitchen and jumped into Mr. Shawn's arms and she kind of wished she could do that too.

"You know that's right, Baby Girl. And I bet you girls that I can get a longer piece than you!"

"Let's go Rebecca! If we win, he has to dress up for a tea party!" Rachel squirmed out of her daddy's arms and grabbed her hand, pulling her in to the kitchen. A tea party sounded fun; she liked playing with Rachel and her daddy.

* * *

As she walked up to the door, Juliet heard screams and giggles on the other side. She knocked on the door but no one answered, so she tried the door and found it was unlocked. "Shawn? Girls?"

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Rebecca ran out of the kitchen with a beaming smile and jumped into her arms.

"Hi Baby Girl, how was your afternoon?"

"Rawr! Tickle Monster is—Oh, hi Jules!" She noticed his cheeks go slightly rosy as he pulled the paper mask off his face, but overall he held his confident smile.

"Mommy! First we had string cheese and Rachel got the longest piece I had ever seen—it was the whole stick and she didn't even cheat and just pull it in half, it was like a string. Then we had a tea party and Mr. Shawn wore a funny hat and Rachel and I got dressed up like princesses but then the Tickle Monster crashed the tea party and now we're running and hiding from him! It was so so so fun!"

Juliet looked at her daughter's face, flushed with joy and excitement. She had never really seen her this happy, it was like life was oozing out of her every pore. Shawn had done that. As Rebecca squirmed out of her arms and ran to find Rachel, who had called from the distance, Juliet mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Shawn, who just nodded and smiled. "So, how'd it go Mr. Tickle Monster?"

"Just Tickle Monster, Mr. Fuzzyboots is my tea party title." He said with a bow. "It was good, Rachel was _so_ excited to have a friend over to play with, but they insisted I play too—I just did all the things I normally do with Rach, I hope that's okay."

"Totally fine. I've never seen her so…alive, I guess. Thank you." He nodded again and his smile became softer. "So do you want me to take Rach to my house or?"

"I have Mac'n'Cheese on the stove that's about ready to be served, but it's up to you. I'm fine with you just staying here with them, but feel free to bring Rach to your place if you'd be more comfortable there, I'll just get you her booster." As he pulled out his phone, likely to text Gus for a ride, she studied him. He was such a father, such an amazing father, more so than she ever would have guessed.

"I think I'll stay here, the girls seem happy and that way we don't have to bother with the extra booster." Secretly, she was glad she could stay for other reasons. Shawn's place was bigger, but now that the boxes had been unpacked it also seemed…homier? Safer? She wasn't sure, but she liked the idea of having time to figure it out. "Oh, Shawn, for the case, if you could…"

"Divine?" He filled in the blank.

"Sure, 'divine' something about the shoplifter's house that could lead us to getting a warrant. We're stuck behind legal red tape." It irked her a little to directly request that he go beyond the law, but it needed to be done and she had no doubts he could do it without raising any red flags.

"As you wish." The Princess Bride reference was not lost on her and she smiled. "Anyway, I should be home before bedtime, but worst case scenario…"

"Rebecca could stay the night and borrow Rachel's clothes, I'd head home once you got back if it's too late."

He nodded again, and she had a feeling he had a slightly different plan, but this was what was best. "Girls! Tickle Monster has to go to his day job, Rach, come here!" He called and in no time, Rachel had appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Yes Daddy?" She was so precious and the deep love and respect she had for her father warmed a part of her heart she hadn't realized was cold.

"I'm heading to work. I should be back by bedtime but you obey Ms. Juliet while I'm gone, got it?" Even his serious tone was encapsulated with love—something she'd never heard from Declan.

"Okay!" Rachel lit up and ran down the stairs, skipping the last couple by jumping into Shawn's open arms. "I love you Daddy, be safe!"

"I will Princess, you be good." He hugged her tight, then pretended to drop her, catching her an inch off the floor before gently placing her down to have her race back up the stairs. "Thanks again Jules, I'll see you tonight—feel free to eat whatever you find."

She nodded and heard the Blueberry beep outside. "Thanks, see you Shawn." As she held the door open for him, she suddenly had to resist the urge to kiss him goodbye. Instead, she closed the door behind him and leaned against it, knowing she was in way over her head.

* * *

"Rae, hold still, I don't want to poke your eye!"

"Rae?" She asked, opening her eyes and looking at Ms. Juliet.

"Oh," she looked surprised. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out, do you not like being called that?"

She thought about it. Her daddy always called her Rach, but Rae sounded prettier. "No, I like it. I just never been called that before." She smiled and closed her eyes, doing her best to hold still. Ms. Juliet was putting make-up on her and Rebecca. It was the first time she ever got to wear make-up and the brushes tickled her eyes.

"Alrighty, all done! Go look in the mirror girls!" Ms. Juliet said and she grabbed Rebecca's hand and ran into the bathroom. She had two braids that Ms. Juliet said were French and Rebecca only had one that went down the middle of her head. And her eyes looked pretty, like a grown-up's, hers had more brown around them and Rebecca's had more silver but they both looked pretty. "Wow, where did those little girls go? I just see young women here!" She looked up in the mirror and saw Ms. Juliet smiling in the doorway.

"Thank you Mommy!" Rebecca said as she ran and hugged her.

"Yeah! Thanks Momm—Ms. Juliet." Her face felt real hot all the sudden, she accidentally almost called Ms. Juliet 'Mommy' which was weird cause she never even had a mommy. But either Ms. Juliet didn't notice or she just ignored it cause all she did was hug her too.

"You're so welcome girls." Ms. Juliet smelled pretty too, and she hugged real good. Rachel wondered if this was what it was like to have a mommy. All the sudden, Ms. Juliet's pocket started buzzing. "Oh, it's your daddy Rae, probably calling to say he's coming home!"

Rachel smiled, but part of her didn't want her daddy coming home, cause she knew it would mean Rebecca and Ms. Juliet would leave and she wanted them to stay forever.

"Jules! Are you still home—I mean at my house?" Shawn sounded panicked and it struck a chord of fear in her heart.

"Yes, what's going on." She asked, trying to keep her voice level, the girls were looking at her.

"Lock the doors, close the blinds, don't open up for anyone, I'll use my key. But no one knows you're there, you should be fine." The last part seemed to be as much to himself as it was to her.

"Shawn, what's going on?" She asked more seriously as she locked the doors and began closing blinds.

"I'll explain later. But you, both of you, are staying the night. No objections. Just tonight. Becks should be fine to go to school in the morning. I'll be home in a minute, don't let the girls know anything is up." And without any more explanation, he'd hung up.

"Daddy—Mr. Shawn is coming home girls! I wonder what he'll think of your make-up?" She tried to keep her voice calm, but both girls looked at her as though they weren't buying it. "Who wants to play hide-and-seek?"

"Ms. Juliet, what did my daddy say?" Rachel had her father's intuition for sure.

"He just said he's coming home. And guess what? We're going to have a sleepover! Now this won't normally happen on a school day but Mr. Shawn and I decided just this once it would be okay. Now, who wants to play hide and seek before bed?" She knew Rebecca saw that she wasn't telling everything, but, as usual, she didn't press for more details. Unlike her mother, Rebecca was sometimes content to let things be for the moment.

"Yay! A sleepover!" Rachel cheered.

"Come on Rachel, let's hide! My mommy is a really good seeker!" Rebecca gave her one last look before running off and Juliet started counting.

* * *

Shawn shook the thoughts of the apartment he had just left from his head. He needed to be calm, happy, or Rachel would know something was wrong. He took a deep breath and unlocked the door and let himself in, locking the door immediately after. The house was quiet and he didn't see anyone, which made him slightly nervous. However, as he looked around, he saw Juliet's purse, Rachel and Rebecca's jackets, and three sets of shoes. They had to be around.

"Oh, Shawn!" Juliet whispered as she came out of the kitchen. "Hide and seek, I've been looking for them for ten minutes!"

He smiled—his dad had taught Rachel how to hide to his standards. "Jules, think like a detective—Rach hides like a criminal." She looked at him skeptically, but he just put a finger to his lips and started sneaking around. A scuff on the floor—she wasn't wearing shoes, it was a decoy. A turned rug—that was her signature, she always forgot to check the rugs. He crouched down in front of a cabinet. With a flourish, he threw the door open and yelled "Boo!" resulting in screams and a giggling mix of 'Mr. Shawn' and 'Daddy'.

"Wow, girls, that was some of the best hiding I've seen!" Jules said from behind him.

"Gramps teached me how and I showed Rebecca." Rachel said proudly, but something seemed…different…about her.

"Rach, are you wearing make-up?"

A smile bloomed across her face, lighting it up even further. "Ms. Juliet did it. Do I look pretty Daddy?"

"Beautiful Baby Girl, both of you actually." He said as he noticed Rebecca was wearing make-up too.

"What about Ms. Juliet?"

"She's beautiful as always." It slipped out of his mouth before he could catch it and he was glad she was behind him, but Rachel got a glimmer in her eye. "I—uh…girls, go wash up for bed. Rach, lend Becks a set of jammies okay?"

"Alright Daddy." She said, eyes still glimmering with a wisdom beyond her years. "But I want a story!"

"I want one from Mommy too!" Rebecca chimed in.

"If you hurry you'll get one from each, now go!" Jules said and the girls scrambled off. He stood up and looked at her, she was beautiful—as always—but he could sense the uncertainty and fear that lurked underneath her brave exterior.

"I'll tell you once they're asleep—over cocoa." He said softly, so the girls didn't hear. She just nodded and started towards Rachel's room, ready to begin the goodnight process.

* * *

She had read _The Velveteen Rabbit_, one of her favorites from her own childhood, and even though the girl's eyes were getting droopy, they insisted Shawn tell a story too. She had expected him to get another book, but now she was leaning against the doorframe, entranced by his story of knights and princesses and a giant blueberry carriage. Mostly, she was entranced by him and the way their daughters looked at him. They were spellbound, absorbed in his fantastical land and loving every minute of it—it was truly magical. But, as all good stories do, it came to an end, much to all of their disappointment.

"All right, goodnight girls!" He said over their pleas to continue. "Sweet dreams and no talking because we'll know." She saw both girls nod and snuggle into their covers.

She flipped out the light as Shawn reached the door. "Love you girls, sleep tight." She said as she stepped out the door and heard Shawn close it behind her. It felt right, it felt like a family should, and she desperately wished she had the strength to tell Shawn everything, that she had the strength to move on.

"So, you want marshmallows in your cocoa?" He whispered behind her and she nodded and let him guide her downstairs, unable to look at him.

He placed the mug with cocoa and marshmallows in front of her as he tried to figure out what to say. "Jules, the shoplifter…he wasn't just a shoplifter."

"I figured that much. What did you find at the house?" She was trying to sound calm, but he saw through it.

"He was a stalker…"A wall of pictures flashed in front of his eyes. "…_your _stalker." Pictures of her at home, her with Rebecca getting groceries, her on the force. "He seemed to be drawing you out with petty crime, but he didn't know about the partner change. Lassie, the Chief, and McNab are all searching for him. They'll get him Jules, but I don't want you leaving here until they do." He looked up at her and saw the panic clear across her face.

"Reb…did…did he—"

He nodded. He couldn't think of anything to say. When he saw the wall, saw the pictures, his heart nearly fell out of his chest. He called Juliet a second after he had called Lassie—it was probably his least creative vision yet, but it had worked.

"And…Shawn, what about Rae?" Again, he nodded. There had been pictures of them at recess, pictures of the four of them at the park, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember seeing this guy. "Oh, Shawn, I'm so sorry! I—"

"Jules, the guy was a creep, but it wasn't about Rachel or me or even Rebecca, he was focused on you. That's why I'm glad you're here and that's why you're not leaving tonight." She nodded but he could tell she was still shaken; he needed to get her mind off of things for a while. "Jules, you're safe, we're safe, don't dwell. When was the last time you saw a movie that didn't involve singing animals or magical lands?"

A smile cracked her pursed lips. "So, so long."

"I believe you're due for a big-kid movie night then, Detective. I'll even let you pick." He grabbed his cocoa and held out his hand, which she cautiously placed hers into, and pulled her to the family room, wishing this could be a far more frequent occurrence.

* * *

"Shawn, really, I can sleep on the couch." The movie had finished and now she was standing next to him in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth, holding one of his pajama shirts in her arms.

He shook his head then leaned over to spit. "Nope. You get the bed—sheets are actually fresh, you lucked out."

"But—I have the gun, shouldn't I be by the door?" Carlton had called about an hour before to say he'd caught the creep, but she still felt ill-at-ease.

"Jules," he grabbed her arms, forcing her to look in his incredible eyes, "get some sleep. You're fine, we're fine. The girls have to be up early for school and we'll have a whole new case to work on tomorrow. I'll yell if anything fishy happens downstairs, okay?"

She had to trust him, at least with this she had to trust him. "Okay. And, thanks…for everything."

He smiled and let her go. "Goodnight Juliet. Sleep well." Part of her wanted to ask him to stay, but instead she let him leave, her heart being torn between past and present.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Another long one! This one actually went in a totally different direction than I had initially intended, which is why it took so long, and now I have some restructuring to do, but whatever, I think it flows. Anyway, THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed, but I'm a little exhausted right now so I'll reply to them all with the next chapter, sorry! And please keep reviewing! Or start! Just yeah, you catch my drift :) Keep being awesome everyone, I hope you enjoy!_


	11. The PlayPlace Plan

"Don't forget Rae's clothes off the drier!" Mommy called from her room.

"Got it!" She yelled as she grabbed the clothes. She was supposed to bring them to school all week, since her sleepover, but she didn't take them because she wanted to have dinner with Rachel and Mr. Shawn again and now they were…at McDonald's even! "Mommy, are you gonna let us play before dinner again?"

"Not today, I don't think. _Maybe_ if the line is long, now let's go before we're late!"

"Mommy, you look extra pretty today." Her make-up was different and her clothes looked a little fancier even.

"Thanks Sunshine. You ready?" She grabbed her car keys from the bowl and started towards the door and Rebecca ran ahead to the car—McDonald's was her favorite.

* * *

She had been restless throughout that night, both because of where she was and why she was there. Carlton had caught the stalker, but it still left her uneasy, and then being in Shawn's room, being in his bed, in his pajamas, with him nobly downstairs…she hadn't slept much. Nor had she gotten a good nights rest in the days to follow, and now it was Friday night and she was driving her daughter—who she suspected purposefully forgot the clothes throughout the week—to a McDonald's play date.

She couldn't believe it had been over two months since their last meeting at McDonald's, since Declan's death. Her husband had died, yet she and Rebecca seemed—were—happier, and that was a hard truth to bear. She thought about where she'd be if he hadn't crashed that day. Would Rebecca be singing in the back of the car like she was right now? Would she be excelling in school? Who would be her best friend without Rachel? And without Shawn…well, without Shawn she'd still be working with her old partner and likely that stalker would be one step closer to attacking her. Really, although Declan's death reunited them, it was Shawn, and his daughter, who had changed their lives for the better

"Mommy? What are you thinking about?" Rebecca asked from behind.

"Just how lucky I am, Sunshine." She smiled and looked in the rear view mirror, but was surprised to see Rebecca looking perplexed. "What are you thinking about?"

"Are you glad Daddy died?"

She almost slammed on the breaks, but managed to keep the car steady. "What?" She always asked the most intense, most serious questions in the car. There was a time that was the only safe place to ask them, but she wasn't even slightly prepared for this one. "Why would you ask that?"

"You seem less sad now. I'm less sad now, does that mean I'm glad he died?" She was so innocent, and the tears welling up in her starry blue eyes broke Juliet's heart.

"Baby, no. I—" She didn't know what to say. There had been times that she wished Declan would die, but only intellectually, she had never actually wanted the father of her child dead. Now he was and things were better, but did that mean she was glad he had died? "Look. You can be happy after something bad happens, and it doesn't mean that you're glad it happened, it means you're moving on." It didn't make sense to her, she doubted it made sense to her five-year-old.

"But everything got happier once he died. He couldn't hurt you anymore, he couldn't be mean to me, and I met Rachel at his funeral. I'm glad all that happened." She was far too young to be sorting out these kinds of issues. Really, no one should have to sort this out.

"I am too, Reb. I am too." She had no other response. "Let's just say we're glad he's not part of our lives anymore, but we're not glad he's dead." It seemed too morbid to have a child happy at her father's early demise. "And try to remember his good parts too."

"Okay." Juliet saw Rebecca's eyebrows furrow with her eyes shut tight as she tried to think of the good times. "Mommy?" She asked, popping her eyes open.

"Yes Sunshine?" She parked the car and turned of the engine before turning around to look into her daughter's eyes.

"I'm real glad you're still in my life." Then, without waiting for a response, she unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of the car.

"Oh Rebecca," she said to herself, "you have no idea how glad I am you're in mine…"

* * *

He had spent the entire car ride hearing every detail of Rachel's school day and he could easily admit he was ready for some adult conversation. Rachel was the light of his life, but one-sided conversations with a five-year-old were surprisingly tiring.

"Ew? Daddy? What's this?" He didn't even have time to look in the rear view when he heard. "Gross! It's sticky! Ew! It's stuck on me!"

"Don't wipe it anywhere!" He fished around for a napkin in the door pocket and handed it back to her. "Here! Use this." He wasn't sure what was sticky, but he knew Gus wouldn't be pleased if it ended up all over the upholstery—he really needed to get his own car.

He had spent Tuesday and Wednesday getting more information on Juliet's stalker to ensure he was locked up till Rebecca was done with college, then Thursday he and Gus drove up to Ojai to close a case of infidelity and today he'd run errands all day—he was ready for the weekend and more specifically for a meal he didn't have to cook and entertainment for the little one he didn't have to provide. Plus, seeing Juliet was never a bad way to end the week…

"Are you excited to see Ms. Juliet?" Rachel asked, not too innocently—sometimes he thought she might actually be a psychic…

"I'm not disappointed to be seeing her, but I saw her on Wednesday."

"That was work, it's different." She said matter-of-factly. "Just like seeing Rebecca at kindergarten today was different."

She had him beat there. "I think I have to pull you out of school—you're too smart for your own good."

She giggled in response. "Oh Daddy, I just know you!" She did, better than anyone alive, there was so little he was able to keep from her.

"That you do." He pulled the car into the parking lot and shut off the ignition, doubting if he should make his next move. "Look, Rach. I know that you…"

"Know?" She said quietly, wise beyond her years. "Know that you love Ms. Juliet and she loves you too?"

"Rach…you don't know that Ms. Juliet loves me." He couldn't deny that he did.

"Yes I do Daddy, she just doesn't yet, but it's okay, she'll realize it just like you." She unbuckled her seatbelt and reached around the console to plant a kiss on his cheek before hopping out of the car.

He was observant, good at putting things together, but Rachel? She was insightful. He couldn't figure out what was with Juliet, it seemed like she was at battle with herself most of the time—and she probably was. But Rachel took all the details out of the picture and saw it for what it really was. It just happened to be the exact opposite of what it had been several years before—when he had been unable to admit to himself just how in love he was with Juliet.

"Come on Daddy! We're late!" Her face popped up in his window and she pulled on the handle. He got out and held her hand as they walked into McDonald's and joined Juliet and Rebecca. The line wasn't nearly as long this time, so they ordered and the girls scarfed down their food before being dismissed to play.

"I swear, I thought they were going to inhale some of that!" Juliet said as she piled the trash on to his tray.

"They practically did—it was like eating with Gus when he's gone three hours without food!" She laughed and he felt that familiar flip in his stomach as he went to throw out the trash. When he came back, he saw Juliet gazing through the glass at the girls as they explored the PlayPlace. "What's on your mind?"

"Hm? Oh, just something Rebecca said in the car." She said as a light blush came to her cheeks. He very much wanted to know what little Becks had said, but decided to leave the question unasked.

"You have a doozy of a conversation too?" He thought back to his own conversation with his daughter and the truths she said. "It's funny how they're able to nail something right on the head and—"

"Ask the questions you can't ask yourself…" She finished, gazing into the PlayPlace again. "And then play, carefree."

She looked surrounded by her troubles—apparently whatever Becks had brought up also brought up some intense emotions. "So, let's try that, playing, carefree."

She laughed and turned to him, skeptical. "What, go raid the PlayPlace?" She said sarcastically.

"No," he pulled out his phone and searched through his apps, "but have you ever played 'Heads Up'? It's more fun with a big group, but it can be a two player game too—I do it with Rach to study flash words, but I'm guessing I can turn up the difficulty for a highly educated woman such as yourself."

She smiled and a little bit of happiness broke through whatever wall was holding her back. "You're up first then." He smiled at her and held the phone to his head, trying to avoid looking at the reflection of the word in the glass. "Alright…"

* * *

"Rachel? What is your daddy doing?" Rebecca said and she doubled back to look out of the same window Rebecca was.

"Oh, they're playing 'Heads Up', it's a guessing game." She and Daddy sometimes played it after dinner; it was one of her favorites.

"Mommy is laughing real hard." Rebecca said quietly.

"So is Daddy. They look happy." She wondered if Rebecca knew Ms. Juliet loved her daddy too.

"I wish your daddy was my daddy, then maybe Mommy would always be happy."

Yes, this was perfect, she just needed a plan. "Your mommy makes my daddy happy too. We should make them get together." She had never had a mommy, and she really liked Ms. Juliet. Plus, from what Rebecca said about her dad who died, Daddy was much better at being a dad.

"Like get married? How?" They looked out the window again, but ducked real fast when they noticed Ms. Juliet looking at them.

"Follow me!" She crawled to the slide and went about halfway down before she made herself get stuck and Rebecca came down after. "We need a plan to make them see how much they love each other."

"How do you know they love each other? What does it look like?" Rebecca whispered.

She had to think about that. She knew that her daddy loved her, but he loved Ms. Juliet different. "I don't know. My daddy just looks happier and his eyes are prettier when he's with your mommy."

"My mommy looks happier than she ever did with my daddy. And her eyes are less sad too, they look happy even when she doesn't smile." They sat and thought for a minute. Hopefully no one else would try to come down the slide and hit them. "What if we just made them spend lots of time together?"

It was simple, but she liked it. "Yeah! They work together, but we should make sure we do lots of stuff as four people—then they'll have to tell each other! We could make them take us to McDonald's every week so they talk while we're playing. But what else?"

"Mommy always goes trick-or-treating with me. Maybe we could go with you and your daddy this year." Rebecca was full of good ideas. Maybe that's why they were friends.

"And we can dress up together! Then when people see us, they'll think we're a family!" She and Daddy always had matching costumes and everyone liked that. This would be even better.

"Let's go tell them!" Rebecca went out of the slide first and she followed. She hoped this worked, cause Rebecca would be an awfully good sister.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Guess who spent 9+ hours in Panera studying on Saturday? This girl…Thus, I wrote this quick chapter to try and mend my brain! Anyway, on to unanswered reviews! I'm doing this for both chapters, so if there's an … in the middle of my response, that's where I switched from 9 to 10 (hopefully that makes sense)_

_Psychic17…I see the vague similarity to the Parent trap, especially now that the girls are scheming, but there are enough differences that I don't feel like I'm copying!_

_Potato…I'm glad you liked the pineapple :) And yeah, we'll see in about 2 chapters (I think) more why Jules is so cautious, but baby steps are good!…I'm really glad I could improve your crappy day! I know how those go. And in the states it's not uncommon for kindergarteners to ride the bus, I did! It's more of a parent choice thing._

_Snyders…glad you liked the pineapple :). And thanks. I'm hoping the "CLICK" thing made sense to everyone, think NCIS if you've ever seen it…and they got him! (But will they keep him locked up forever? Dun dun dunnn)_

_MrsBuzz…that is weird that you weren't getting notifications, but I'm glad you're back!_

_Guest…sorry it took a little bit, but hopefully the (pretty much, not really but kind of ish) back to back makes it up to you!_

_Jaggielovahhh12…Aw, well I'm glad the exception! Here's more! (Also, I'll probably write the Halloween chapter tonight or tomorrow depending on how studying goes…so there will be more still)_

_Cap…see Snyder's, we may see more of the stalker and another unchecked villain!_

_MaggieJaggie…glad you love it! And you'll just have to wait and see (or go find the spoiler…but waiting might be good :) )_

_Wooh, that was a lot and THANK YOU ALL so much! Seriously, it means a lot! Keep reading and reviewing for more fast updates! _


	12. The Halloween Festivities

Time seemed to constantly be getting away from him. He felt like the girls had just come running up to he and Juliet with their idea for Halloween and now it was the big day. "Dad, did you keep my policeman Halloween costume from all those years ago?" He said as he walked into his father's house. "Dad?"

"Hi Goose." He turned to see his mom sitting on the couch while his dad stood at the bar.

"Mom, hi!" He said as he walked over and gave her a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Just visiting for the day, I fly out tonight. Figured I'd say hi to your dad while Rachel was in school. And your old costume is in the box in the attic, why?"

He nodded hello to his father and tried to comprehend the situation—his parents were, what, hanging out? "Um…" He tried to remember what his mom just asked. "Oh, Halloween—Rachel and Rebecca are going as cops and Jules and I are robbers, their idea. In the box you said?"

"I'll help you find it, but it's going to be way too big on Rachel." She got up and started walking with him upstairs.

"I just need the hat and badges for Becks, Rach went as a cop last year and her costume still fits." His office had a big Halloween bash the year before where the kids were invited, Rachel was one of three that actually came, but she got loads of candy. Still, he knew she was excited to actually go trick-or-treating.

They had reached the top of the stairs and started up to the attic. "So, Goose, tell me." His mom said in a hushed tone.

"Tell you what?" He asked, now realizing why she wanted to help him.

"You know. Juliet. The pretty blond cop who slipped through your fingers and broke your heart." She never was one to mince words.

"Mom…"

"Rachel talks about her. She told me you love with her and that she loves you. Is this true?"

"Did you know Gus has a date tonight?" It was a bold direction change, but there was a slim chance she'd take it. "Yeah, he actually managed to pick up a doctor on his route—it only took him, what, 12 years to pull off that master plan."

"That's wonderful." She said with a smile, but then her face turned serious again. "Now cut the crap and dish."

He pulled open a box labeled 'Costumes' and started digging through. "Yeah, okay. I do. But her husband just died and she's hiding something—or maybe just processing, I can't really figure it out. Regardless, nothing can happen until that's resolved." He sighed and she came over and helped him dig.

In no time, she pulled out the costume. "Ah, here it is. Good as new." She handed it to him and smiled, then patted his back gently. "Goose, I know waiting isn't your strong suit—but keep at it. She'll come around." He dropped eye contact; maybe Rachel was more like his mother than she was like him. "So tell me about this doctor friend of Gus'."

* * *

"Rebecca, you know you're coming home with me right?" Rachel asked as they packed up their things.

"I know, Mommy told me, so did the teacher." She waited for the boy between them to move before she kept talking, she didn't want him to hear. "I brought extra clothes, just in case we can have a sleepover!"

"Good!" They almost never got to have sleepovers even though they asked all the time. "I can't wait to go trick-or-treating!"

"It's so fun and you get so much candy!" She had been trick or treating before with her mommy, but she was extra excited to go with Rachel and Mr. Shawn. Maybe they'd get to go together every year from now on.

* * *

"Okay Carlton, I'm heading out." They had solved an attempted murder that day—or that week really. Shawn had helped them wrap it up that morning and she'd spent the rest of the day doing paperwork.

"I can't believe you get to leave." He growled.

"I'm still on duty—I've just got all my paperwork done and we're not actively on a case—call if you really _really_ need me." Where were her keys? She was supposed to be at Shawn's in half an hour and she still needed to grab her and Rebecca's costumes.

"It's Andrew's first year trick-or-treating you know." She did feel a little bad about that, little Andrew was three this year and she heard he was going as his namesake—President Andrew Jackson—but at the same time…she loved trick-or-treating with Reb and going with Shawn and Rachel was an added bonus.

"Sorry Carlton, I know Carol will take lots of pictures and I'm sure you'll get out of here before he goes to bed." They'd been married five years and she still found the similarity in their names amusing. "Tell her I say hi and remember that I have to stay late for Thanksgiving!"

"Have fun O'Hara." He said it slightly begrudgingly, but she knew he meant it.

Back at home, she dug around her closet for something 'robber-ish' as Rebecca had so nicely put. She had Reb's blue shirt and pants as well as some old pillowcases ready to go, but she still didn't know what to wear. Suddenly, her pocket started buzzing and she pulled out her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Sweetheart!" Her mom said on the other side of the line. "Happy Halloween!"

"Thanks, you too." Her mom rarely called her out of the blue, she knew something must be up. But, she found a striped shirt that could work for the costume so she put the phone on speaker and threw it on the bed while she changed. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing, just checking in. You sound like you're doing well."

"Yeah, I am, I'm just getting ready to go trick-or-treating with Rebecca and her friend." The shirt was a little tight, but not terrible, now she just needed black gloves.

She grabbed the phone off the bed and turned off speaker, instead holding it to her ear with her shoulder. "Is that Rachel Spencer? Is her father coming too?"

"Mmhmm" she mumbled as she dug through the hat and glove box. She knew there was a pair of black leather gloves in there somewhere—maybe even a pair of Declan's old ones for Shawn…

"Are you sleeping with him?"

The phone fell from her shoulder into the box and she had to scramble through the various winter accessories to find it again. "Excuse me?" She replied when she finally found the phone.

"Well sorry to startle you dear, but it's an honest question. Are you sleeping with Shawn?"

"No!" She said defensively. "What are you even talking about? Why would I be sleeping with Shawn?"

"You know you've always had a little crush on him, and you spend all this time with him now, I just figured—"

"Mother, is that why you called? To see if I was sleeping with Shawn Spencer?" She was completely taken aback by her mother's brashness.

"No, of course not. But anyway, you say you're not, so that's that." She was so frank, so unlike her normally fun and deeply caring mom.

"Mom, what's going on?" she asked harshly.

"Juliet," Her tone had changed, it was softer now. "I married your father on a whim, and while he never hurt me as bad as Declan clearly hurt you—it was a painful mistake. So when I met Lloyd, I was cautious, plus I had you and your brothers to think about. I just know you've had a little thing for Shawn before and I want you to remember to be cautious."

"Mom, it wasn't a little thing…I was in love with him. But even so—maybe especially so—I am being cautious. But Rachel is Rebecca's best friend, I can't completely shut him out—I just keep him at a distance."

"Oh heavens no, don't do that!" This conversation was giving her a headache. "Juliet, don't miss out on an opportunity for love and happiness because you're scared—just don't get yourself in too deep before you're ready. Talk to him, tell him the things you won't tell me or your fathers, just make sure he's worth it before you dive in. Now take lots of pictures and send me some. I love you!"

As usual, the line went dead before she had time to respond, but she sighed, "Love you too" as she lowered the phone. She had found the gloves, and she tried to process everything her mom had said as she grabbed the rest of the stuff and ran out the door.

* * *

"Nanna, Nanna! Will you make cookies with us?" When she and Rebecca had gotten off the bus, Nanna was already at her house with Daddy and they had a tea party, it was such a good surprise.

"You girls can help me make the dough, but I'll make the cookies while you're off trick-or-treating after dinner—sound fair?" Nanna made the best cookies.

"Mom, did she really rope you in to making cookies?" Her daddy had been working upstairs, sometimes he had to do that but it was okay, he was still home way more often than before.

"Goose, your gosling is very persuasive, as is Miss Rebecca." Nanna was nice to Rebecca too, they all got to play together. It was extra good, because if Daddy and Ms. Juliet got married, Nanna would be Rebecca's Nanna too.

"Daddy, if you're nice, we might let you lick a spoon!"

"Oh, I'm licking the spoon girls, whether you want me to or not—just don't let Uncle Gus know there's cookie dough being made."

"Is Uncle Gus coming?" Rebecca asked, she thought it was funny that they had both knew Uncle Gus, but they didn't know each other till just before school.

"No, he has a date tonight—somehow this woman convinced him to go to a haunted mansion." He laughed real hard, and she knew why, Uncle Gus was a scaredy-cat. "Little does she know she'll have to be the brave one…"

The doorbell rang and she went to go answer it but Nanna held her back. "Goose, control yourself and get the door." Nanna had pulled out all the stuff for the cookies and started mixing things together, then she handed Rebecca the bowl to stir and pulled up a chair for her to stand on so she could use the mixer. "So Gosling, Rebecca, I know you're scheming something—I see it in your smiles. Fill me in."

Rachel looked at Rebecca and they both giggled. "Nanna, can you keep a secret?"

* * *

He opened the door to see Juliet looking flustered and grabbed some of the clothes falling out of her arms. Then he really saw her, in a tight-ish shirt and black pants and looking incredible. "Dang, Jules, I think you picked the wrong side of the law."

"Do you think this looks okay?" She asked as she stepped inside.

"You look fine, and I mean that in every sense of the word." He felt like he had said something along those lines before, but it had been so long. He knew he shouldn't flirt with her, but patience was only getting him so far. Plus, she smiled and blushed slightly and the added color in her cheeks made her even more beautiful.

"I brought you gloves—for the robber thing." She grabbed the gloves out of the pile he was holding and he couldn't help but notice she smelled incredible.

"Thanks, the girls are making cookies with my mom, you want to help me pick out a shirt?" He doubted he had anything that would work as well as her's, but there was a chance.

"Oh, yeah, I brought a sharpie so we can just put matching lines on an old undershirt or something. That and some black fabric to make a mask."

"Great, we can work on that in the mini room, it's the only clear space." The second bedroom—or mini-room due to its size—had a desk, a chair, and basically nothing else. When he needed to work on a case and had pictures he didn't want Rach seeing, he worked up there, but for the most part it was empty. "I'll just grab a shirt."

* * *

With multiple markers and a lot of will, they had striped Shawn's shirt in twenty minutes. However, being in such a confined space with those highly smelly markers—Juliet was pretty sure she was a little high. At one point, she and Shawn had bumped heads, both ferociously drawing lines across the fabric, and laughed uncontrollably for the next five minutes. She hadn't laughed like that in years, and while she knew the markers probably played a role in that, she was also amazed at how comfortable she was with Shawn. They were moving past the awkwardness of getting refamiliarized and she found that each time she saw him—at work or with the kids—she was getting a little closer, a little more open.

She thought back to what her mom said, about making sure he was worth it before she dove in, and she was pretty sure he was. He loved his daughter, and while there was still that unspoken pain dwelling in his eyes, he was beginning to brighten up and slowly pull her out of her own darkness. She was falling for him all over again, and while that scared her, the idea of missing another chance with him almost scared her more.

"Jules? You okay, you look really dazed." There was so much warmth there, so much compassion, and she was about to tell him everything when the door opened.

"Woah, what are you kids doing in here?" Maddie said as she swung open the door. "Sorry to interrupt, but the girls are getting hungry, is there something you want me to prepare?"

Shawn held his look with her for a second longer, then looked at his mom and cleared his throat, "I was thinking spaghetti or hotdogs."

"We could have spaghetti dogs—you spear the spaghetti through sliced hotdogs then cook them, making it finger food." Shawn gave her an inquisitive look, as did Maddie. "Pinterest…I've never actually made it though, so I'm not 100% sure it works, but it could be fun." She was nervous and overtalking, but Shawn just shrugged.

"Sounds exciting." Maddie said. "I'll help you make it and Shawn can try to get the girls ready."

Juliet nodded and followed Maddie into the kitchen, she had a feeling this was going to be more than just dinner prep and didn't have to wait long to have her suspicions confirmed.

"You look well, how are you doing? I can't imagine, widowed with a five year old." She started as she pulled hotdogs out of the fridge and handed them to Juliet as she got out a knife.

"I'm okay, we're okay. It's been an adjustment, I still have to clear out the closet, but I just…"

"To many memories?" Maddie finished her sentence and she nodded. There were so many memories that she couldn't face, but likely not for the reasons Maddie thought. "Rebecca is lovely, such a happy little pumpkin."

She smiled as she sliced the hotdogs into choke-free sizes. "She's amazing, I don't know what I'd do without her." The conversation was building, they both knew it, but Juliet waited for Maddie to make the move.

"You know he moved back for you." She knew Maddie was looking at her, but she remained focused on the hotdogs. "For Rachel and Rebecca to be friends, but also for you." She turned back to the pasta, which she was breaking in half, and the two worked in silence for a minute while Juliet thought of a response. However, before she had thought of one, Maddie continued. "He's been hurt. He won't admit it, but the women he loved have burned him. I left…and I regret that so often, I didn't realize the damage it would do. But I left, and just when he was ready to take that step, you left too." Tears welled in Juliet's eyes. She still had the knife in her hand, frozen in the cutting position. "And then he married Abigail, and she left him out of the blue, and I think that hurt him more than even he realizes. He's never been the same since." She grabbed her hand, and Juliet forced herself to look at Shawn's mother and was shocked to see there were tears in her eyes also. "Juliet, you're an amazing woman, but you're a broken woman, I see it in your eyes. If you let him, Shawn will be everything you need him to be and more, but you've got to let him in—totally in. And you can't do that unless you're in it for the long haul—I'm not saying dating or marriage necessarily—but a deep relationship. Until you can do that and not run away when things get rough—stay away."

It wasn't exactly a threat—more a mother protecting her child, but Juliet understood what she meant. She nodded and wiped a tear, then turned back to the counter and began stabbing the raw pasta through the hot dog chunks. "I want to be ready." She said softly, as much to herself as to Maddie.

"I know dear. Give it time, you'll know when you're ready."

* * *

Amazingly, he had managed to get both the girls dressed and ready for a very exciting evening. Dinner was a total hit, everyone…including himself…found the noodle-y hotdogs fun and fascinating. Then after much scrambling and last minute preparations, they were on their way down the street. He didn't look nearly as hot as Juliet did in her robber outfit, but the mask and gloves definitely sold the look, and the girls were absolutely precious in their police uniforms.

"Daddy! You and Ms. Juliet should take our bags and go up to the house and ask for candy and Rebecca and I will come arrest you for stealing! It would be so funny!"

He smiled at her as he took the bag, it did sound funny actually, she was a smart kid. He looked at Juliet, who accepted Rebecca's bag as he took Rachel's and the two of them walked up to a very confused octogenarian. "Trick or treat!" He said, barely getting the words out before he heard the girls.

"Stop! In the name of the law!" Rebecca said first.

Then Rach came up, "You're under arrest for candy-stealing! I'll take that!" She wrenched the bag out of his hand and the old woman smiled as she realized what was happening.

"Well thank you officers!" She said to the girls as she put candy in their now repossessed pillowcases. "You saved the me from these nasty crooks!"

Rachel cupped her hands to her mouth to whisper and the woman crouched lower to hear. "They're not real crooks." She whispered loudly and he shared a smile with Juliet.

"Thank you!" Rebecca said before grabbing Rachel's hand and skipping toward the next house—or really, starting to skip, then teaching Rachel how before the two of them started going together. Shawn hadn't even realized he and Juliet were standing together on the woman's doorstep until she spoke again.

"You have a beautiful family." She said with a smile while offering them a piece of candy.

"Thank you." Juliet said warmly as she picked a piece of candy and he couldn't help but wonder if she was thanking the woman for the candy or the compliment.

"Yes, thank you." He said as he controlled himself and only got one piece of candy, then he smiled and walked with Juliet towards the next house. The girls had them repeat the robber shtick for several more houses until they convinced them it was just holding up the line…which it was, but he was also tired of standing in front of a bunch of children and getting arrested by either Rach or Becks.

However, each time they were complimented on their family, Juliet accepted it without correcting them and he had to admit he liked that. Plus they were now trailing behind the girls and walking close enough that their hands brushed together and even through the gloves, he felt the spark. He thought back to the time where she had gone undercover as a Maniac, how incredible she looked in that uniform…she still looked incredible…

"Now Rebecca is arresting other kids…oh dear." She broke his train of thought and drew his attention to their daughters. Rebecca was indeed trying to arrest a bigger kid, and Rachel seemed to be her back up.

"That's never a good sign." He sighed, the older kid looked agitated. "Officer Rach! Officer Becks! Come here!" The two girls immediately turned and came running toward him. "Girls, you can only arrest robbers…namely us." He gestured to Juliet and himself. "No arresting big kids, or little kids, or anyone."

"But Da—Mr. Shawn!" Becks whined and he felt his heart jump a little bit when she almost said 'Daddy'. "They were cutting in line!"

"And being real mean!" Rachel added.

"Girls," Juliet sighed, "sometimes you have to pick your battles…this isn't one. Let's go to the next house."

Shockingly, both girls agreed and started skipping towards their next stop. "That was miraculous…how'd you do that?"

"Tired Mom routine. Reb knows when I get tired the fun stops, I guess Rae just instinctually knows it as well."

"Mm, my whole childhood makes far more sense now." He said, thinking back to all the times his mom got him to do stuff. "So, because you know they're going to ask…sleepover tonight?"

"I saw Rebecca trying to sneak clothes in her backpack this morning…I guess she can stay—I have to go in to work for a little in the morning anyway and she's been on her best behavior."

"You free for lunch? We can do the hand-off then, maybe do a little more throwing and catching practice?"

"Sounds great. I'll call you when I leave work." As she spoke, she got so close that her hand almost slipped in to his and it took all the restraint he could muster to not grab it.

"Girls! Slow down, your robbers are tired!"

* * *

An hour after they decided the girls could have a sleepover, Shawn carried both the officers, fast asleep, upstairs to Rachel's room. They had gotten tired on the walk back—first Rachel, then Rebecca and Shawn insisted that she carry the candy sacks while he carried the sleeping children. As she followed them up the stairs, she was astounded by how precious the moment was, Rachel and Rebecca, holding hands on Shawn's chest while the other arm was wrapped firmly around his neck. Once in Rachel's room, she peeled Rebecca off and changed her into pajamas, tucking her in next to a pajama'd Rachel.

When they snuck back downstairs, they found Maddie's note next to a pile of cookies—she had said her goodbyes before they left. It was odd, being alone with Shawn—especially with all the conversations she'd had about him today, but either he was ignoring the tension or he didn't feel it.

"Jules, eat the cookie, it's amazing." He said with his mouth full. "And how much of this candy goes to the parent tax?"

"Shawn," she said seriously, and he snapped his attention to her at the contrast, "I—I know you want me to tell you about Declan. And I want to, I really do, I just…I can't right now. Maybe someday, but you've got to give me time."

He stared at his cookie and part of her felt bad for breaking the mood, but it had to be said. "I'm here. When you're ready, I'm here, and even when—if—you tell me, there's no pressure."

"Thank you, Shawn." She knew she needed to leave—before she caved, but before she did, before she really even thought through it, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. A kiss like that night after Yang. A kiss to let him know. "Goodnight Shawn." Just like that night, he looked struck—pained almost, confused, but his eyes had that glimmer that she'd loved so much. Unable to stay any longer, she turned and left, leaving him standing in the kitchen with a hand to his cheek.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Once again, this is not where I expected this to go, but I ended up combining two chapters. (I have a list of them up to the spoiler-I know what I want to happen in grand strokes, just not all the details…) Regardless, I like the chapter and hopefully y'all do too!_

_Shulespsych…I hope this continues the streak of perfection :)_

_Potato…not a hug, but kinda better? Also, please, how cute would it be to have Shawn and Juliet's five-year-old daughters arrest them? (I'm a little pleased with myself on that one :) ) Hope this works as a pick-me-up _

_izzyoceangirl…you'll just have to wait and see! _

_AngieRosie…I'm glad you like it! And like I said earlier, I have a plan for all the chapters, so you'll just have to wait and see, but that's an interesting idea! :)_

_Psychic17…5 year old, but yes :). And we're kind of progressing to season 3 here-with the direct reference at the end, but yeah, I feel like she has to be guarded, you'll see why next chapter! (maybe…)_

_To all the rest who favorite and follow, thank you! Please, anyone and everyone, review/PM/whatever! Keep being great (the weekend is almost upon us!)_


	13. The Truth

_Head's up guys, I'm going to say this chapter is a T rating just because some of the content is a little dark. I tried to keep it as close to a K+ as I could, but I wanted it to go deeper. Anyway, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. :) I'm also going to respond to all the reviews on the next chapter. Anyway, let me know what you think!_

She woke up from another nightmare that hadn't always been just a nightmare and she had to get out of the house.

But she couldn't leave Rebecca home alone.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door that made her jump a foot off the bed. Grabbing her gun from the safe, and double-checking Rebecca was still asleep in her bed, she quietly walked toward the door. When she opened the door, she couldn't have been more surprised by who was on the other side. "Dad—Frank?" Her biological father stopped by to see Rebecca every Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Thanksgiving wasn't for another couple weeks.

"Hi Baby Girl." He said, shuffling his feet. "Look, I know you probably don't want to see me, and I'm so sorry for not coming sooner but…I don't know, I was a coward I guess. Regardless, something told me I had to come tonight, so here I am. Is there anything I can do?"

She couldn't even process that he was there, she just knew it was the miracle she needed. "Seriously, I'm so glad you're here. I don't know if I'll be back tonight, if I'm not, assure Reb I'll be home by the time she gets home from school, she knows the morning routine and her lunch is already made, you need to be awake by 6:20 and the bus comes at 7 sharp, she needs to be on it. Bye." She'd been giving him instructions as she grabbed shoes and her keys and she didn't even wait for a response before she flew out the door and into her car.

As she drove, she knew exactly where she was heading. In the weeks since Halloween, Shawn never pressured her, never even mentioned their talk from that night. The next morning at the park he had smiled and played games with the girls and her, then that Wednesday at McDonald's they'd talked about their parents, and at while they'd only worked one case together the last two weeks, he hadn't made it awkward or uncomfortable at all. But every once and a while, when he thought she wasn't paying attention, she saw the way he looked at her, and it was everything.

Still, as she stood outside his door in her pajamas, she hesitated. If she knocked, that would be the end, there was no turning back, she'd be taking the plunge, opening up, letting him see all of her pain and scars. She stood, hand frozen in midair, unsure if she could take the next step but desperately wanting to.

* * *

He grumbled his whole way to the door, but stopped the second he saw who was on the other side of it. "Jules, are you okay? Come inside!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, holding her tight even as he closed the door.

"I need to tell you. Tell you everything. I—I can't—" She broke down into sobs and he gently scooped her up and brought her to the couch. He knew what this was; he'd been waiting for it for the past two weeks, really the past three and a half months. "Is Rae here?"

"No, she's at my dad's tonight, my mom is visiting and she wanted to spend time with them. It's just us." He spoke calmly, allowing her time to catch her breath and figure out what she wanted to say. She was curled up on his lap, clinging to his neck and he gently stroked her back while still holding her tight. He didn't want to rush her or force her into anything, but he was so glad they were here—and that Rachel wasn't. "I've got you Jules. You're safe." He whispered, kissing her temple. It felt natural—right—to be holding her, comforting her.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, but Shawn's words had already calmed her. Just being there, in his arms, not worried he was going to try anything, or hurt her, or force her to tell him anything. Just holding her, loving her—he hadn't said it, but she felt it, and that gave her the strength to tell him.

"He was a drunk. But really the problems started earlier than that. I got pregnant, we moved the wedding up so that maybe people wouldn't notice, and it basically worked, she was two weeks late but no one but us knew the due date, they all thought she was a little early. But suddenly we had a baby and we barely even knew each other. He had a temper, but he was so manipulative I barely even noticed his flaws. He was the master of making things my fault. But I thought I was happy, or I was still trying to get back at you, I doubt I'll ever know, and I had Rebecca and things were okay." Memories were flashing in her head, making it difficult to focus, to keep talking, but the steady, gentle pressure of Shawn's arms pulled her back to reality.

"And then he made a bad deal. I don't know all the details, but we lost all the money. And it was then I realized he just continually bought my love. He'd make me feel bad about myself or something, then buy me jewelry or a new TV or buy Rebecca the newest toy and he seemed so sweet, so sorry for what he'd done and I'd forgive him. But without the money he couldn't do that anymore, and he was just angry all the time." She thought of the fights they fought and the anger and bitterness that drove them. "And then he started drinking—first it was just an extra beer, then it was a pack, then a bottle of Jack every night. But he was still so manipulative and I was scared to leave. No one knew but us, we hid it so well." She stopped for a minute, paralyzed by her memories. But then Shawn squeezed her a little tighter, rubbed his hand up and down her back, kissed her temple. She couldn't look at him or she'd break down again, but his touch released her from her prison and she took another deep breath before continuing.

"It was awful. He hit Rebecca once—I pulled him into our room, pulled my gun, and promised him I'd shoot him and make it look like an accident. And he sneered at me. Just sneered and hiccupped. He was so drunk. But he never touched her again; he'd just torture her with his words when I couldn't get her away fast enough. But I didn't leave. I was scared, or stupid, or both. But as long as he didn't touch Rebecca, I could deal with it—he rarely saw her when he was drunk, she learned to go hide. And I felt like a terrible mother, but he was still so slick, so smooth, I knew he'd get partial custody if we got divorced, I figured I could protect her better if we stayed. But it was so awful. And then—" The tears were coming back. She was admitting things to him things she hadn't been able to admit to herself, telling him things she'd tried to forget, and he just held her tight.

"You're safe with me." He whispered and the fear died away, but she knew she had to say it fast before the it came back.

"He—he'd force me into bed. He said—he said it would keep him from hitting Rebecca. I just laid there until he was done and fell asleep or he just passed out. Then I'd roll him off, get into the shower and cry while the water ran over me." The tears were streaming down her face again. "I just couldn't get clean enough, couldn't get the smell of him off of me. The whole time he'd go, I just hoped the pills worked, hoped I wouldn't bring another baby into this horrible life. But I just laid there, Shawn. Night after night.

And one day I—I couldn't take it anymore. He was passed out on the bed and it was only 4 p.m. and my razor broke while I was in the shower. And I thought, 'This is it, I can escape'. I was so depressed I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself—I just wanted to be dead because he couldn't do anything to me if I was dead. I grabbed one of the individual blades and sat on the shower floor, ready to end it all.

But Rebecca saved me.

She knocked on the door—something she normally didn't do when she heard the shower, but she knocked. I was so surprised I accidently nicked myself—that's what this scar is, but it was small, I barely hit." She showed him the small vertical scar on her wrist. "It was something stupid, I think she wanted me to fix a knot in her shoe, but she reminded me what I had to live for, who I had to protect. A small request saved my life that day. And then a month later he drove drunk and it was over. And I was—I was so relieved he was gone. I—I—" She couldn't talk anymore, the words wouldn't come and sobs took their place.

* * *

If the son of a bitch wasn't already dead, he would've strangled him with his bare hands. Instead he held on to a sobbing Juliet.

A wrecked Juliet.

A broken Juliet.

The most amazing woman in the world and that—that scum had utterly broken her. He didn't know what to say, what to do. He just held her, his leg was going numb, so he pulled her closer, she was nearly wrapped around him now and he held her tight, unwilling to let her go, let her feel alone, hoping he could take some of her pain by osmosis if he just held her tight enough. "I've got you, Jules. You're safe. I've got you." He kept whispering that, over and over, holding her tight and whispering until she'd cried herself to sleep. But he didn't dare to move. He wanted her to sleep. He wanted to keep her safe from even her nightmares. "I've got you, Jules. I've got you." He loosened his grip just slightly and stroked the hair off her face. Her head was resting on his shoulder and he was overcome with a desire to protect her, to love her forever and never let anyone hurt her again. The truth had been worse than he thought, but now he knew and he had never loved her more. He smoothed her hair, pulling some strands off his tear-streaked face and thought about the strength of the woman in his arms, to face things he never could've imagined and survive.

And he thought about Rebecca. She had captivated him from the beginning, but for the first time, he truly loved that little girl for all she was. Not just Juliet's daughter, but her life, in so many ways. Suddenly overcome with exhaustion, he kissed the top of Juliet's head and repositioned slightly so he could rest his on the back of the couch. "I love you Juliet." He whispered as he fell asleep with the woman of his dreams secure in his arms.


	14. The Next Morning

He woke with Juliet still in his arms, still clinging to him—if less tightly now. She was so beautiful. Her blond hair fanned out across his shoulder and was lit up by the sunbeams streaming in. He saw black lines of mascara running down her cheeks, mixing with strands of hair that had gotten caught in the tracks of her tears. She was finally there, finally with him, no fear, no barriers, just asleep against him.

Tenderly, he stroked her cheek, freeing the hairs stuck to her face and softly rousing her. "Good morning. Do you want pancakes?"

* * *

She blinked repeatedly, trying to rid the sleep from her eyes. All at once, she realized where she was, what had happened, that she had fallen asleep in Shawn's arms on the couch and woken up in the same position. He hadn't tried anything. She was in her pajamas and more vulnerable than she had probably ever been, but he just held her on the couch the whole night.

"Pancakes sound delicious." Part of her didn't want to leave his arms, but she knew she had to get up. Face reality. Face whatever would come with what she had confessed. Slowly she got up. She didn't know what to do, what to say.

"Good. Well, I'll start those. You can, well, you can do whatever. If—if you wanted to shower or something, there's spare towels in the closet of the mini room, and my shower has considerably less bath toys so you can use that." He wasn't making eye contact. She wondered if he would be able to look at her the same ever again or if he would only see her past.

"Thanks…I'll be quick." She ran upstairs once he had gone into the kitchen and grabbed towels from the spare bedroom. Once in the shower, which still contained a wide variety of toys, she found herself unable to keep the tears at bay again. Had she ruined her chances with Shawn? Did she even want to take those chances? Could she?

Knowing she shouldn't take long, she grabbed what she assumed was Rachel's Winnie-the-Pooh shampoo and did a quick rinse before getting out and drying off. Not wanting to return downstairs in her pajamas, she grabbed a button-up shirt and some athletic shorts from a chair in his room. They smelled like him and the smell soothed her, gave her enough strength to walk downstairs and face whatever would come.

* * *

He heard the shower turn off and moved quickly to slice some pineapple before she made it downstairs. He needed to break the tension, clear the air, but how?

He had just placed the pineapple on the table when she walked in, wearing his shirt and shorts and the truth slipped out before he could stop it.

"Juliet, I love you." Her eyes flashed and panic struck his heart, but he couldn't hold it back anymore. "Wait. Just, before you say anything, let me explain. I loved you six years ago, ten years ago even. But six years ago I was finally ready to tell you, ready to take that step, and you took a different one. So you broke my heart and six years later I hated the fact that I still loved you.

Except that was the old you. The single you. Juliet O'Hara. But then we reconnected and as I got to know this you—the current you—I fell in love with you all over again. But something was holding you back, holding me back from really moving forward. And then you told me—told me everything you went through, everything you faced, and you came out on the other side. So when I blurt out 'I love you', I mean it. You, all of you, Juliet Rand. In a way that was unfathomable to me yesterday, I mean it."

* * *

She sat on a barstool as she processed everything he just said. He loved her. She had known, to some degree she had always known. But now he knew her whole past and he still loved her, still wanted her.

"Shawn, I love you too." The words came spilling out of her mouth before her brain got in the way.

"So…" He was staring at the plate of pancakes on the island. "Where do we go from here?"

That was just it, wasn't it? Where did they go from this point? How did they reassemble their past and present into a future. "I don't know." She looked at her thumbs. "I…I want you to tell me about Abigail."

* * *

'I want you to tell me about Abigail.' He knew it would come to that point eventually, he even suspected it would be today, yet he still found himself wildly unprepared.

"What is there to say really? I married her because I lost you, we had Rachel, she left. That's about it."

"Did you love her?" The words hit like a knife to the chest.

"Did you love Declan?" He regretted it as he spoke, but she stayed calm.

"I asked you first. Shawn, you can't ignore this. But to answer your question, no. I don't think I ever did. I loved the _idea _of him, I loved aspects of him that reminded me of you, but I don't think I ever truly loved him."

"I did. Love her, that is." Again, the words flew out of his mouth before he thought through them, but again, he knew they were true. "But it was different—no, I'm not just saying that." He could tell his words had hurt her, but he was surprised at how differently he loved Juliet than Abigail. "Listen. Abigail, she was my first love. The first girl that I was scared of how much I wanted. So I croaked in high school and regretted it for years.

Then I finally worked up the courage to ask her out again, as an adult, and on our first date—you asked me out. Jules, I didn't know what to do. I had the girl who got away in my arms, so I let the woman of my dreams get away. I saw how much me dating Abigail hurt you, but she was my first love and things were going well—How was I supposed to end it? And if things didn't work out with you, I would've regretted it and resented you, and I didn't want that. So then she went to Uganda and my head started to clear, I knew when we thought you had the Thornburg virus that it was you I really loved and her I just loved the idea of." His memory kept flashing to the past, the pain, the decisions he would've made differently, but he struggled back into the present.

"Then, I didn't tell you. I wish I would've told you right then, but I didn't. And then Yin happened and while I was saving Abigail, I could only think of you. And Abigail broke up with me and that hurt more than I would've thought, and you were so broken and I felt like that was at least partially my fault." He was frustrated by his inability to express what he felt, but it was like years of dammed emotions had been released and his mouth and mind couldn't handle the volume.

"Jules, I made mistakes. But you did too. So when you broke my heart and I went crawling back to Abigail, I did love her. Because she was safe, she was familiar. But I didn't realize until she was gone that I was still a boy in love with his high school sweetheart."

* * *

She stared at Shawn, watched as tears he probably didn't notice streamed down his face. It was so odd to see him crying. See him vulnerable, but she knew she had to keep pressing.

"Tell me about when she left." She saw it, that flash of deep pain that he so often tried to hide. She hated that she had to push when he hadn't forced her, but she was sure he'd never come to this place on his own.

"What? You want the details." His tone had turned harsh, but she didn't falter, he needed to do this. "We went to bed, things were fine. Middle of the night I wake up to Rachel on the baby monitor and roll over to find a note instead of my wife."

"How did that make you feel?" She tried to keep her tone even, but she knew the question would cut.

"Are you kidding?" He looked at her with anguish and disbelief.

"Shawn, have you ever even tried to process what happened? My guess is no, you buried it—but things don't stay buried. So no, I'm not kidding." It was so hard not to be hurt by the look in his eye, but she knew she was hurting him too—it was just the hurt that came with healing.

"What?" He threw his hands up in frustration. "You want me to say it sucked? Because it did. I had a daughter that I barely knew what to do with and suddenly no wife. And you know what? I _searched_ for her. I thought she had been taken, that someone was using her to get to me. But I was wrong. She abandoned me. Abandoned our _daughter_. For what? A career? When I had given everything up for her? She left and I haven't heard from her since. But you know what? Good riddance. She doesn't _deserve _to know our daughter—_my _daughter. So yeah. It sucked Juliet, but it has nothing to do with you."

"Doesn't it though?"

* * *

He stared at her, unsure of how to proceed. _Was_ Abigail's leaving influencing how he felt for Juliet? She had been right about him burying his emotions about Abigail's leaving. When she first left, he had to stay strong, because he was barely keeping his head out of the water with Rachel—but now…

"I…I don't know. Does Declan?" There was a stillness after he asked the question, measuring the gravity of the moment.

"I'm not sure." She spoke softly, but he knew what it meant. It meant neither of them was ready yet. You only get one second chance like this, and neither of them could take it before they had worked through their underlying issues. "But I know I want you in my life, in Rebecca's life—she's never had a strong man to look to."

"And Rachel's never had a strong woman." He sighed. "So, what? We just co-parent? Take off the Mr. and Ms. to our titles?" It felt anticlimactic, he wanted to be holding her in his arms, or better yet, carrying her upstairs to celebrate their love, but they were just carrying on.

"And work on our baggage. Talk to each other, help each other. Reassess. Because I _love_ you Shawn. But right now, this is all I have to give—and I think it's all you have to give too."

She was right. He knew she was right, he just hated that it was true. He nodded as he worked up the courage to look into her dazzling blue eyes, which were only slightly clouded over now—far less than they had been in the days and weeks past. She was healing, and he knew deep down he was too. "Well, being a grown-up sucks…how about a new batch of pancakes…with sprinkles."

She smiled and her eyes brightened a little more. "That sounds perfect."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Alright everyone, don't hate me, but they just...they can't get together quite yet. The problems of two individuals don't go away if they get together, they just intertwine-so we have a little growing to do yet. :) Anyway..._

_Potato…Seriously, your comments make me laugh every time. Anyway, keep reviewing! _

_Psychic17…Maddie is pretty much an awesome person, she'll be back because she's a master schemer. And thank you, keep reviewing!_

_izzyoceangirl…haha, it would be pretty dumb to stop, but I do work to keep the updates timely! Keep reading and reviewing!_

_Snyders…yeah, I thought Gosling was pretty funny, hopefully you're still with me!_

_LyssLovesTiva33…I'm glad you still enjoy it! Keep reading and reviewing!_

_Cap. …Thank you so much! Seriously, it means a lot, I hope you like this chapter!_

_Psych7706…Thank you! And I'm working on a new chapter for Some Very Shules Moments-I've just been pretty busy, but I think I like where it's going so it should get posted soon!_

_cac0066…what's funny is I didn't even hate Declan that much on the show-obviously I prefer Shawn, by leaps and bounds, but yeah-I turned him in to a terrible terrible person. Oh well, at least Shawn's there :)_


	15. The Other Daughter Date

He stood, doing dishes with Juliet, passing her the clean plates to dry and put away and thinking about the talk they had just had. He so wished he was ready to be everything she needed, but he knew he wasn't. Not yet. "Jules, do you work today?"

"No, it's my day off. Why?" She asked while holding up a dish and he gestured to the cabinet it belonged in.

"If we're going to do this co-parenting thing, I want to do it right." He started as he handed her another dish. "I take Rach out on Daddy-Daughter Dates periodically, show her how a man should treat her, show her how much I love her, stuff like that. I want to do that with Rebecca too. I thought we could pull them out of class before lunch, I'll take Becks, you take Rach and we spend the day with them, meet up at 5:30 for dinner somewhere, here even."

* * *

It was an amazingly thoughtful idea. "Here for dinner works for me." She wasn't sure what she would do with Rachel for six hours, but the idea of spending time with and really pouring into her excited Juliet. "I'll just swing by my house for a change of clothes before we go, meet at the school at 11:30?"

"Sounds great, I'll grab you the spare key just in case you beat us home for dinner."

* * *

"Mrs. Johnson, please send Rebecca Rand and Rachel Spencer to the office, they will not be returning. Thank you!" The voice said from the ceiling. Rachel leaned back and looked at Rebecca before the teacher told them to pack their things.

"What's going on?" Rebecca asked and she shrugged as she put her stuff in her backpack.

"Your mommy wasn't home this morning right? Maybe it has something to do with that." But that didn't explain why she was leaving too. This time Rebecca shrugged and they waved goodbye to their class as they walked to the office together.

"Maybe our plan worked." Rebecca whispered, the halls were awfully quiet without any people in them. She hadn't thought about that, maybe it did work and Daddy was pulling her out of school to tell her she and Rebecca were sisters! She wanted to run, but knew she wasn't allowed, so she just grabbed Rebecca's arm and walked as fast as she could.

* * *

"Mommy!" She said as she jumped into her open arms. She had heard her mommy crying and moaning in her sleep the night before, she did that sometimes, especially since her daddy had died. But then Granddad woke her up this morning and said Mommy had to leave during the night. She looked over and saw Mr. Shawn hugging Rachel and hoped their plan had worked.

"Hi Sunshine, you ready to go?" She nodded and Mommy waved goodbye to the secretary and all four of them walked out.

"Mommy, where were you this morning?"

"I went to talk to Shawn, and we came up with an idea. Today, we're going to switch daughters, I'll spend the day with Rachel and you'll spend the day with Shawn, then we'll switch back after we all have dinner together." Her mommy seemed happier than she normally did after her nightmares.

"So just me and Mr. Shawn?" She looked over at him and Rachel, who seemed just as confused as she was.

Mr. Shawn didn't seem confused though, he answered her. "Yep, you got it Becks. You and me, and you don't have to call me Mr. anymore, just Shawn. You ready to have fun?"

She looked to her mommy to make sure it was okay to not call him 'Mr.', but her mommy was smiling, so it had to be okay. "Alright, where are we going...Shawn?" Her mommy kissed her and set her down and Shawn did the same with Rachel.

"Let's start by getting some grub, huh?" He held out a hand and she walked over and took it, his hands were way bigger than Mommy's, about the same size of her daddy's, but they were warmer and gentler. She waved goodbye to her mommy and Rachel and started following Shawn to his car, still not sure what was going on.

He stood and opened the door for her. "Is grub food? Cause I didn't eat lunch yet." She asked as she climbed into Rachel's car seat—it was good they were the same size.

He laughed and she smiled, he had a nice laugh. "Yes, grub is food, do you have anywhere you want to go or should I pick?"

She thought about it, she liked the food at lots of places, but she couldn't think of anywhere that she really wanted to go. "You pick."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He said as he started the car. He sounded excited, and that made her excited too.

* * *

"So, Rae, where do you want to eat?" Ms.—no, just Juliet, asked as they drove away from school.

"I don't know. Someplace yummy that smells good!"

"I have the perfect place for that." She said with a smile and Rachel got excited, she loved food. "So what did you do today?"

"Well Grandma and Grandpa dropped me off at school 'cause the bus doesn't go to their house, and then we learnded how to write 10, 11, 12 which I already knew and then we practiced for the Thanksgiving play." Juliet had a nice car, she could see out the window real good, but she didn't know where they were going. Juliet asked her more questions, what she was in the play—which was a pilgrim just like Rebecca—and other stuff too. She was real nice and soon she parked the car outside a funny looking building.

"Have you ever been to the botanical gardens?" She asked and Rachel shook her head 'no'.

"What's a—a tan-cal garden?" She asked, it was a funny word.

"Botanical, it's a place where they grow lots of cool flowers and plants so it smells good, and the food in the café is yummy!" Juliet took her hand and they walked together into the place. As she got closer, she could see different trees were on the inside of the building.

"Woah!" Was all she could say, this was way cooler than practicing the alphabet.

* * *

"Go Seabirds!" Becks yelled, nearly dropping her hotdog. She looked so cute, decked out in her new Seabirds cap and jersey—the salesman even put eye-black on her cheeks, completing the look.

"Whoa there Becks! Don't drop that hotdog!" He said and she looked up at him and smiled.

"I won't! I'm a real good holder on-er." How could he argue with that face? She only had one, maybe two bites left, and he decided to go for a challenge.

"I bet I can finish my whole hotdog before you finish that little bit of yours." Admittedly, it was his second hotdog, but he always liked to splurge on Daddy-Daughter dates. "But! You have to chew and swallow each bite before you take another one, no choking okay?" She nodded excitedly. "Okay, three…two…" She took a big bite out of her dog. "Cheater!" He cried and she giggled while she chewed as he started on his dog.

"I win!" She cheered, ketchup all across her face. He had let her win, but just barely.

"Aww, you did, didn't you!" He said once he finished his bite. "What should your prize be?" He grabbed a napkin and cleaned her face of the condiments.

"Peanuts! I want peanuts!" The kid had an appetite, that was undeniable, but with as much as she ran around, he wasn't concerned.

"Peanuts for the Peanut—got it." He said and he bounced up and gallantly reached out a hand, which she grabbed tightly on to, giggling that adorable giggle.

"Shawn, you're funny. I like you!" She spoke, through the giggles.

"I am pretty great, huh." He responded, sticking his nose in the air. Then he reached over and picked her up, sitting her on his shoulders. "You're not so bad yourself Becks." She held on tight, almost too tight, and it occurred to him she might never have been put up on her father's shoulders. "You okay up there?"

"Yeah." She said, sounding unsure. "It's scary but I like it." So she was a thrill seeker too—probably why she and Rach got along so well. He missed his daughter, but he had to admit he liked getting to know Rebecca better. She was more like her mother, in personality as well as looks, but she had that quick wit her father had used so well.

"Okay, you just let me know if you want to come down." He bought the peanuts and handed them up to her as they headed for their seats, it was the bottom of the third and Rebecca was catching on to baseball surprisingly well, better than Rachel had in fact. He set her back on her seat and the two shared the peanuts, entranced by the game, until Rebecca spoke, suddenly but softly.

"Did my mommy go to your house last night?"

She was still watching the game, but he turned to look at her. "Yes." He answered, unsure of where she was going.

"She has nightmares. She doesn't know that I know she gets them, but sometimes she yells or cries. I waked her up once, but I think she likes it better when she thinks I don't know." Here was this girl, this amazing five-year-old, so protective of her mother, so caring, yet she was opening up to him. He sat, silent, and turned his gaze back to the game, unsure of what to do or say. "Did you help her with her nightmares? Did she tell you?" She had turned to him and he looked into her dazzling blue eyes, brimming with tears.

"Yes." He said, calmly. "She told me and I like to think I helped her."

She gave a curt nod, then turned to the game again, but stared at the peanut in her hands. "I think they're about my daddy. He wasn't a good man."

His heart broke further for this astounding little girl, already facing so much more than she should have. "I know." He said, unable to think of anything else. He gently placed a hand on her back, his palm more than spanning the distance between her shoulder blades and was surprised to have her scoot closer and lean against him. He craned his neck down and kissed the top of her new baseball cap—Declan was an idiot who abused and lost a what could have been a perfect life, and he wasn't going to make the same mistake.

* * *

Juliet walked up to see Rachel leaning over to sniff a flower. "Sweetpea." She said and Rachel turned to look at her. "That's what that flower is, a sweetpea."

"Oh," Rachel said, turning back to the flower. "I like it, it's pretty and it smells nice."

"Just like you." She crouched down and sniffed the flower, then turned and wiped the last of the sandwich crumbs of Rachel's face. "Guess what?" Rachel looked at her, eyes questioning. "The butterflies are here, you want to go in the butterfly room?"

Her eyes got wider and she straightened up. "Really? Are they real butterflies?" She was bouncing on her toes now.

"They sure are. Sometimes they even land on you! You just can't touch their wings okay?" Rachel nodded vigorously and she picked her up, sitting her on her hip like she had always done with Rebecca. The girls were different; spending more time with Rachel showed her that. Like her father, Rae was incredibly out-going and enthralled by all that life had to offer, where Reb tended to be a little more reserved. Still, Rachel was tender, sweet, and caring as well as incredibly polite—she had already thanked her at least a dozen times for taking her to the botanical gardens.

As they entered the butterfly room, Rachel clung tight to Juliet's neck while she pointed out various butterflies that she saw. Juliet looked into her sparkling green eyes as her face lit up with each new butterfly sighted.

Then, Rachel caught her eye and smiled before hugging her tightly and whispering, "Thank you Mo—Jules." She hugged her back, equally tight, trying to make up for all the hugs her real mother hadn't given her.

"You're so welcome." After about a minute, Rachel started squirming and she put her down, trailing after her connected by a finger as the little one led her throughout the room. The butterflies were beautiful, and there were so many varieties. She looked to her right and saw a big blue one that looked iridescent in the light. "Sweetpea, look!" The name slipped through her lips, and Rachel looked at her, questioningly—much like she had the first time she called her 'Rae', but instead of questioning the pet name, she smiled and looked where Juliet pointed.

"Whoa! Pretty!" She gasped, and just then a butterfly came up and landed on her extended arm. "Look! Look! It's on me!" She giggled, trying to keep her arm still.

"You must be extra sweet then!" She whispered, crouching and leaning close. Rachel stood, entranced by the slow opening and closing of the butterflies' fragile wings, barely breathing until the butterfly fluttered to it's next perch.

She watched as Rachel followed the butterfly with her eyes, before suddenly locking them on to hers. "Juliet, are you and my daddy together?" She asked seriously.

The question shocked her, but it probably shouldn't have. In the little bit of time she had spent with Rachel before this, she realized she had inherited her father's intuition. "No, Sweetpea, we're not dating if that's what you're asking, but we are good friends and we want to spend lots of time together and with you girls." She wanted to be honest without saying too much.

"But you love him, right?" Incredibly perceptive…

"Yes." She sighed, unable to deny it.

"Then that's okay…for now…" She smiled a slightly devious grin and skipped off down the lane.

"I couldn't agree more." Juliet breathed. It had been a difficult journey to this point, and she knew it would still be painful healing, but she was so glad she had Shawn, even if it was just as friends…for now…

* * *

"Sea-birds wi-in! Sea-birds wi-in!" Becks chanted from his shoulders as they followed the crowd out of the stadium. It had been a close game, but the Seabirds pulled it out in the ninth inning. As they reached the car, he lifted her off his shoulders and placed her on the ground. "What are we doing next Shawn?" She asked excitedly.

It was three 'o'clock and they were about a half hour from home. "Do you like cooking?" He asked her, he figured they could make Juliet and Rachel a surprise dinner or dessert.

"Yes!" She cheered as she crawled into Rachel's car seat and buckled. "We should make cake!"

"Cake it is then!" He said as he shut the door, he didn't actually know how to make a cake from scratch, but he remembered he had a box of cake mix in the pantry. "Chocolate okay with you?" He asked as he got in the drivers seat, already sure of the answer.

"Chocolate is the best-est!"

He smiled and started the car. "Good answer." The ride home consisted of Rebecca replaying her favorite moments of the game and asking him questions about baseball. She was positively in awe when he told her he had been the batboy for the Seahawks when he was a kid and wanted to know every detail she could.

They finally made it home and he pulled in the garage, then hurried to open the door for Rebecca—it was one of his rules on a Daddy-Daughter Date, the Daddy always held the door, even if Rebecca wasn't actually his daughter.

"Thank you!" She said in a sing-songy voice as she hopped out of the car.

"Alright Peanut, go wash up, you're dusty." He said as he opened the door to the house. He followed her inside, and was startled to hear the sounds of pots and pans in the kitchen. He ushered Rebecca behind him and slinked around the corner to peer into the kitchen, only to see Rach and Jules.

"Daddy!" Rachel said, sounding a mix of excited and disappointed. "You're home early—we wanted it to be a surprise!"

"Well it definitely is that." He said, taking in the scene. Juliet and Rachel with matching aprons, cooking—Rachel standing on a chair so she could see, with her hair in a neat braid and clips that looked like butterflies spread throughout.

"I see we had the same idea." Juliet said, she looked incredibly beautiful and so much of him wished they were at a point where he could spin her around and kiss her.

"I guess we did." He said instead, returning her smile.

"Shawn!" Rebecca whispered and he leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. "Are we still going to make the cake?" It was a classic five-year-old whisper, louder than if she had actually just spoken, but he nodded and smiled and she did a leap of joy. "Yes! I'll go wash my hands!"

* * *

"Ready?" She asked as Shawn cleared the last of the cake batter off the table. The girls didn't want their 'dates' to be over yet, so she and Rae worked in the kitchen, ripping lettuce, dicing tomatoes, and shredding cheese while Shawn and Reb made a cake at the table. At one point, she looked up and caught Shawn's eye. This was a vision of her perfect life—exactly what she had always wanted. She may not have been able to fully give herself to Shawn yet, just as he couldn't give himself, but this was a good place. Once the cake had been poured and put in the oven, the girls had asked to go play and she and Shawn briefly discussed what they did during the day while she began browning meat.

He had taken Rebecca to her first baseball game—something she never would have thought of and apparently Reb loved. The conversation was easy and light between them, occasionally pausing to hear if there would be a cry following one of the girls shrieks and pleasantly surprised to hear none. Now the cake was cooling in the freezer and Taco Thursday was ready to start.

"Girls!" He yelled in response to her question, moving to the drawer for silverware. "Dinner is served!"

Dinner was an excited affair, as the girls swapped stories of their adventures throughout the day, what their favorite parts were, how much they wanted to do it again. She and Shawn agreed that they'd have 'Other Daughter Dates' every other month at least but that this was the only time they'd get pulled out of school—which the girls were surprisingly fine with. After dinner, they played a game of 'Sorry' in which she swept the floor with the rest of them, getting all four of her pieces home before Shawn even had one and now she was escorting a very reluctant and _very_ tired Rebecca out the door.

"Have a good night, Peanut." Shawn said as he hugged Rebecca goodbye—apparently she had gained a new pet name as well.

She reached down and picked up Rachel, "Sleep well Sweepea!" She said as she hugged her tight, eliciting giggles from her little body while she hugged back. She put Rae down and she watched as the two girls embraced, then looked to see Shawn with open arms, which she—slightly awkwardly—walked in to and was immediately enveloped by the warmth of his loving arms.

"Call or come over if you need anything." He whispered in her ear so only she could hear.

"Thanks." She whispered back as she broke the hug. "For everything, seriously."

He nodded and held the door open for them. "Goodnight."

It was only 8 pm when she got home, but she was exhausted. "Alright Sunshine, jammie time!" She said as she opened the door to the house. Frank was there, sitting on the couch watching TV—she felt bad, she had completely forgotten he was in town.

"Granddad!" Rebecca cried as she hopped onto his lap. "I had the best day! But I have to go to bed now so I'll tell you tomorrow, will you still be here?" She spoke quickly and earnestly and Juliet listened, curious as to the answer.

"Of course, you can tell me after school." He said. "Now get ready fast so I can read you a bedtime story!" She ran off with a cheer and Juliet plopped on the couch next to her father.

"Sorry I didn't call." She sighed.

"I called the school when she didn't get off the bus, they told me you took her out, so I figured all was well." He was being incredibly understanding and she was so glad. "You okay Baby Girl?"

She hadn't gotten much sleep and had a lot of excitement during the day, so she was exhausted, but as she thought about all that had happened since she left last night, she was able to turn to her father and honestly say, "I'm getting there."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Ugh, guys, I had the worst day, so even though I read all your reviews (which I always do), I won't respond to them till next chapter. But review! Let me know what you think! It might just turn my_ terrible, awful, no good, very bad day _around. :) Even if you don't review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm not sure when the next one will be up because I haven't written it, but I do have one of the later chapters done and it's pretty awesome, so enjoy the anticipation! _


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